Terrorist Midget Thwarted By TSA
Department of Homeland Security officials announced today that TSA has succeeded in thwarting the diabolical plans of the Javaid Iqbal, a terrorist midget who carries dual citizenship in the United Kingdom and Loompaland. Javaid was recently detained in the US when a routine search of his baggage turned up quantities of spitballs far in excess of Department of Commerce import restrictions.
In response, the United States government has refused entry to Mr. Iqbal, returned him to the UK, and put all entry ports on notice to be on the lookout for other Oompa Loompas attempting to enter the US illegally. DHS officials are also working with the FBI to discover the whereabouts of Willy Wonka the radical leader of the Loompa Liberation Army, an organization that has declared their intent make war on the "Crusader forces of the US and UK". The LLA has claimed responsibility for recent bombings of confectioners in the United States and Great Britain.
Mr_Blog... You know it! That Struthers woman is evil, Evil, EVIL!
PT... You know, you have a point. It does look like Javaid's skin might go Oompa Loompa orange at any moment.
We have a phone number we can ring (anonymously thankfully) where we can report this activity.
Just recently I reported a building up the road from me where somewhere around 700 of these threats gather nearly everyday.
I told the authorities that the greatest danger was weekends when they seemed to disperse somewhere. But there are other times where they disappear for weeks at a time.
At last someone must be taking notice.
No doubt receiving training at Mr. Wonka's factory.
UndeniableL... What's most distressing is that TSA couldn't even see clear to keep from canceling the family's tickets. I mean what kind of morons are these people? He's 7 for Pete's sake!