2007/08/20

Terrorist Midget Thwarted By TSA

Washington (f-A-ke. P.) -

Department of Homeland Security officials announced today that TSA has succeeded in thwarting the diabolical plans of the Javaid Iqbal, a terrorist midget who carries dual citizenship in the United Kingdom and Loompaland. Javaid was recently detained in the US when a routine search of his baggage turned up quantities of spitballs far in excess of Department of Commerce import restrictions.

In response, the United States government has refused entry to Mr. Iqbal, returned him to the UK, and put all entry ports on notice to be on the lookout for other Oompa Loompas attempting to enter the US illegally. DHS officials are also working with the FBI to discover the whereabouts of Willy Wonka the radical leader of the Loompa Liberation Army, an organization that has declared their intent make war on the "Crusader forces of the US and UK". The LLA has claimed responsibility for recent bombings of confectioners in the United States and Great Britain.

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11 Comments:

He's a cute little terrorist none-the-less! Go Willy Wonka!
The new Axis of Evil -- UNICEF, Save The Children, and Sally Struthers!
Sumo... You know DHS takes a dim view of people supporting terrorist candy makers.

Mr_Blog... You know it! That Struthers woman is evil, Evil, EVIL!
Yup, he reels them in with the candy and things just deteriorate from there. I never trusted Willie Wonka...
I disagree with Sumo. Those shifty eyes can mean only one thing...terrorism. Everybody knows that. And it looks like he's got the beginnings of a smirk on his mouth. That kid is PURE EVIL, I tell ya.
Fashiongirl... Never trust a man who hands out golden tickets. It's just asking for trouble.

PT... You know, you have a point. It does look like Javaid's skin might go Oompa Loompa orange at any moment.
Oh my toad challenged friend, I have been fighting this Oompa Loompa threat for years. They are everywhere.
We have a phone number we can ring (anonymously thankfully) where we can report this activity.
Just recently I reported a building up the road from me where somewhere around 700 of these threats gather nearly everyday.
I told the authorities that the greatest danger was weekends when they seemed to disperse somewhere. But there are other times where they disappear for weeks at a time.
At last someone must be taking notice.
Praise baby jebus, white, oil consuming civilization has been saved once again!! No burkas here!
But there are other times where they disappear for weeks at a time.

No doubt receiving training at Mr. Wonka's factory.

UndeniableL... What's most distressing is that TSA couldn't even see clear to keep from canceling the family's tickets. I mean what kind of morons are these people? He's 7 for Pete's sake!
It's good to know we've got that Dept. of Homeland Security on the job!
Aw there just pissed that they didn't get one of the Golden Tickets.

God Bless.

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