2007/07/24

Beer Wisdom

Meeting with the Barbarians on Saturday reminded me of the wonder of Beer, and in that spirit here is some wisdom I've collected over the years regarding this awesome libation:

<<  This...IS BEER!
This...is yellow water that tastes like dirt.
Any beer with a tagline that ends in, "...that still tastes great." is a beer to avoid.
"Light Beer" is an oxymoron. The purpose of beer is to fill you up and slow you down.
Unless it's Iron City or Tecate (and you have a lime and salt handy) don't drink beer from cans.
If sex is the only way you can sell your product, consider selling something else.

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22 Comments:

I think drinking most beers from cans should be a felony.

I am lustfully awaiting the day when I can purchase Fat Tire here in Minnesota. When I lived in Colorado, I would buy 2 gallons of it every weekend that I went to visit my wife to take back to the barracks.

I usually only drink microbrews and imports though. Most American beers are crap. I do want to get myself some of the new Sam Adams glasses though. They are nice and would make drinking beer even better
I'm not much of a beer drinker anymore, but in my family, drinking beer from a can is tantamount to sacrilege. The best beer sells by word of mouth, and doesn't need to promise to change your image. If you're a Bud drinker, or a light beer drinker (or, heaven forfend, a Bud Light drinker), you've been programmed well by the lackeys of Madison avenue and the High Priests of Expense Accounts.
Scott... Fat Tire is a delight! Though we have such great brew pubs around here, that I don't order it too often.

Lew... The one and only beer I'll drink from a can is Tecate and that's really just out of a sense of nostalgia. The beer absolutely screams out for a lime an salt, and you've gotta have something to pulp the lime on, hence the need for the can.
Just had to chime in on this one. I just got back from the pub where I had 2 very nice, very light fine lagers by the name of "Gambrinus". They weigh in at about 3.6% alcohol, but there was never a smoother, cleaner, more refreshing glass of liquid ever made.

America gives "light" beer a bad name.
According to my born in Pittsburgh husband, Iron City is made with water from the Monogahela River - AKA "the swamp."

(I side with Praguetwin about light beers in America. Amstel Light is my preference.)
Last weekend I watched the first season of this BBC sci-fi show called Hyperdrive, and they have a computer who makes odd announcements on the starship's PA system. The best one I can remember was--

"Attention crew. Nutrition advice: Lager is not food in itself. Consider consuming food with your lager."

(imagine British female voice lazily pronouncing 'lah-gah')
Praguetwin... Here's that damn language barrier again. A proper "light" lager (as in "pale of color") should never be confused with a "lite" (as in "lite on the flavor", "lite in calories", "lite in the head") American beer. ;-)

Kathy... I've actually only had Iron City once, and I think I blacked the experience out.
But when I drink beer biki clad young hotties cram into my house...

That's not sex selling...that's a fact
Mr_Blog... I like it. Sort of like the obsequious doors and mechanical of Douglas Adams' universe, the ones that always thank you for using them. ;-)

Polishifter... OK, I'll bite. What brand are you drinking?
Kvatch-I'm with you---what the heck is Polishifter drinking?
Any of you boys ever get up the next morning after a lovely evening of Appalachia's finest brews and be able to sh_t through a screen door without hittin' metal?

Me neither.
OK that was bad.
No chuck, that wasn't bad, that was funny as hell! Never heard that description before. LOLOLOLOLOL

I'm not fond of beer, but when the subject turns to gin and martinis, give me a buzz.
Robert... Something that, "...won't fill him up and won't slow him down." Duh! ;-)

Chuck... Oh dude! That's so nasty. But that said, being from Texas, I think that Pearl gives the same effect.

PoP... Did you miss the Kocktail Hour?
We don't have many good brew pubs around here so I live of places I have been that were good. Rock Bottom has a couple nice brews, but it is an hour away. I mostly get Sam Adams here.
I agree with you on every single point!
Scott... Actually I really like the Sam Adams Winter Lager--always make a point of buying a six during the season.

I agree with you on every single point!

Nvisiblewmn... :-) :-) :-) Even the Tecate one?
Well, I probably wouldn't drink any beer from cans, but I agree on everything else.

I do like a good ale.
I guess I lied earlier. I will drink Guinness from a can. It always goes into a glass first though
Shit, I missed it again. out of town on vacation at the most inopportune time. ...and I love beer.
Scott... Guiness? From a can? You're beer drinking privileges are about to be revoked. ;-) (Acutally, I kid! The cans aren't that bad.)

I do like a good ale.

Nvisiblewmn... Ooh! Me too!

WS... Another opportunity coming up. The Barbarians are meeting twice in a row. Next on is on August 1st. I'll send you some info.
It was Frank Zappa who once reminded us,

"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer."

(And I don't think he was talking about Budweiser.)

And, yes, I'm curious re Poli's beer, i.e., "when I drink beer biki clad young hotties cram into my house..."

When I drink beer, the only things that cram into my house are empty bottles.

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