Google Oracle (Beta)

"Oh Oracle... Where should I have lunch?"


"Wise Oracle... What job should I take?"


"But Oracle, have you no other answer?"

Don't talk back, or I'll tell your wife that I caught you on your webcam doing the Tom Cruise 'Risky Business' scene in the nude!

(Kvatch notes that the idea of Google advising him on important decisions gives him the heebee-jeebes.)


What? You high school guidance counselor did so much better?


(stupid fingers)
I learned how to tighten the brake wires on my bike on Google. And apparently if you look for "gay moovies" from Eastern Europe, you can find my site
The idea of going and finding a patch of land and becoming a subsistance farmer is having more and more appeal to me.
LOL Kvatch! What if it was Google Oracle or Bush? ;-)
Tafka PB... Well not really, but then he didn't have access to my clickstream. ;-)

Scott... So from this we conclude (if we were the Google Oracle) that you should take a job that combines your love of bikes and gay moovies: Homosexual Adventure Porn?
Diva... Forget subsistance farming. The Google Oracle advises you to become a survivalist--do unto your neighbors before they do unto you.

TomCat... I don't even want to know about Google dispensing advice using a burning bush or anything like that--cheap parlor tricks IMHO. :-)
Scott... So from this we conclude (if we were the Google Oracle) that you should take a job that combines your love of bikes and gay moovies: Homosexual Adventure Porn?


Hmm... Google Oracle, you say? Well, I guess I can toss out my Magic Eight Ball now. Truth be told, my Magic Eight Ball was rather limited in that if not carefully handled while shaking it for an answer, one could risk the chance of having the mystical dark blue water leak out.
weird - no lawsuit worries?
Frog, does this mean I have to dress in combat fatigues? I'm a fricking DIVA, for god's sake, and a grandmother. I don't DO combat fatigues. I do wear autumn colors well, though.
Suzie-Q... Always happy to provide a midday chuckle. :-)

Tina... But it least the 8 Ball didn't talk back.
Denis... From Google? Or perhaps Oracle? Maybe Delphi, Greece, the god Apollo? Naw, not worried.

Diva... The Google Oracle replies: Don't sweat it. All of fashionalbe survivalists will be wearing Dolce & Gabbana this fall.
You're better off asking the Oracle of Delphi or using the
Well the way that we are going with this oligarchy we are going to have:

The Google United States of America, The Exxon-Mobil Rocky Mountain National Park, Mt. Rushmoor brought to you by the United Arab Emirates and the Starbucks Statue of Liberty.

Complete of course with the liberty flame being replaced by a Tall Mocha Decaf latte.

These guys won't stop until we have the a giant, florescent "golden arches" of McDonald's slapped on the moon.
You're better off asking the Oracle of Delphi or using the

Polishifter...a Ouija Board, tarot, crystal balls, magic mushrooms...

James... You know, now that you've mentioned it, wouldn't Google be better than the CIA for gathering information on terrorists.

Department of Homeland Security
-- powered by Google
I have a Spongebob head that does the magic 8-ball thing. Does this mean it's obsolete?
i google everything. you google everything. we all google everything. google google's everything. google google's google's google.
Nvisiblewmn... OMG! A SpongeBob 8 Ball! Where did you get it? I must have one. Oh...I can almost hear it now. I ask a question, and SpongeBall replies:

"Well...good luck with that."

RAFFI... I think that you just described a "Googleplex".
Let's see the video of your "Risky Business" routine...then we can all do some googling.
Too much for me.
You mean you think for yourself sometimes? On the day that Google was created Captain Corky became a real boy.

I think I will have to start googling some REALLY obscure things that have literally NOTHING to do with me - just to screw with their "database"

And blogging about bizarre things. (Well MORE bizarre things than just my life)...

And g-mailing stuff. Although I do have a friend who talks about monkeys a lot, and now my gmail sidebar seems to be trying to send me to sites that feature monkeys, which is just TOO funny...
Kvatch, I think it came in a kid's meal from Burger King....
TPM... Oh no. Not on your life. I'll sue! ;-)

Sumo... ??? The Google Oracle says you need a vacation.

Captain... Welcome to Blognonymous. I'm with you on this one. Google is the engine of this frog's ideas.
Sewmouse... The Oracle responds: "Won't do you any good. Google knows all." ;-)

Nvisiblewmn... Damn! I was really hoping for a squeaky-voiced prognosticator.
But Kvatch, Moses really had a great idea! A burning Bush! What a wonderful concept!! ;-)

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