2007/05/04

Future Headlines - Bill O'Reilly Uses His Superpowers for Good

STUDY: BILL O'REILLY USES DEROGATORY NAMES 'MORE THAN ONCE EVERY SEVEN SECONDS'

FCC ISSUES NEW GUIDELINES, PLACES RESTRICTIONS ON 'IPM' INSULTS PER MINUTE

O'REILLY ARRESTED FOR 'IPM SPEEDING', SPRAINS MOUTH DURING HIGH-SPEED PURSUIT

O'REILLY ENTERS REHAB, CLAIMS INSULTS ARE A 'DEMON I'VE FOUGHT ALL MY LIFE'

SCIENTISTS ACHIEVE 'GREEN' BREAKTHROUGH, PROMOTE 'BLABBER POWER' AS NEW ENERGY SOURCE

FAMOUS PUNDIT LEAVES REHAB, DEDICATES REMAINING YEARS TO ENERGY PRODUCTION

O'REILLY SIGNS FIRST EVER DEAL TO POWER 20,000 GARY INDIANA HOMES

18 Comments:

He just amazes me. I want to say more about him, but I don't want to help him by mentioning him. I'm always afraid his name is the secret name to conjure up the devil.

Lo Fleming
Braless Living
Hey Kvatch, feel free to use my new name for him. I started using the names of Little "o" and Big "O" for him and Olberman. I think you know who Big "O" is! Long live KO!
Well, I tell you that little o is one big A.
Lo... Welcome to Blognonymous.

Saying o's name won't conjure the Devil. O'Reilly is a demon. You say his name to conjure him, and then he takes possession of your immortal soul, dragging you down to loofah hell.

Donnie.. :-) For a while there were referring to O'Reilly as 'Old Clown Shoes' as in... "He's f*cking clown shoes."

Peacechick... As well as few other choice letters I can think of. ;-)
Well, I'll be...great minds do think alike.

blog on Kvatch...blog on all.
Geez, Kvatch, just when I had managed to stop shuddering every time I see a loofah....

Funny post.
GORE/OBAMA LANDSLIDE - O'REILLY'S HEAD EXPLODES ON-AIR
Oh, I wish!!!!
I think to conjure Bill o, ya have to do the whole thing from Beetlejuice... ya know... say it once, say it twice, third time's a charm.
I can't believe Indiana University spent time and money studying this. Next they'll be telling us air is good to breathe and shoes protect you fett from sharp stones.
er, that's your feet. Stupid fat fingers.
Do you think Bill's blabber power can generate the necessary 1.21 jigawatts so we can travel back in time and stop Bush from being handed the throne in 2000?
Nvisiblewmn... Only superheros should have superpowers. Maybe we should call 'Old Clown Shoes' Loofahman!

Abi... I agree with Hill, only in my dreams.

Tina... "O'Reilly, O'Reilly, O'Reill--AAAUUUGGGHHHHH!!!!"
Lew... Good point. Where do you think the money came from? Perhaps a grant? From Mediamatters? ;-)

Comandante... Now that would be something:

"Marty, I need fuel. Turn on the blabbermouth!"
I think the more efficient way to generate power is to rap all the 'no spin' right-tard pundits in copper wire. Put a magnet nearby and voila - instant magneto!
I think the 3-time thing only works if you sing the Banana Boat song afterwards, so if you don't sing, we should be OK.

DAYYYYYY-OHHHHHHH
Sabdbuttrue... Almost a blabber singularity! Think we could generate a warp field with O'Reilly, Malkin, and Coulter. Certainly reality gets warped around them.

Sewmouse... Got it. Then I'm safe, I don't ever feel like singing when I hear Old Clown Shoes.
Great comment, Abi, and great potential headlines, K.!

Thanks for the link, that research certainly didn't yield surprising results, and it validates what many Americans think about good old Bile O'Rile and DumbFUX "News"... he really becomes a caricature of himself, doesn't he!

Aha! WE all knew it, and research bears our opinions and suspicions out!

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