2007/02/03

Punxsutawney Phil Retires

PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA (f-A-ke. P.) -

Today Punxsutawney Phil announced his retirement from weather prognostication. Interviewed at his den in Punxsutawney PA, the famous groundhog said:
I got just two words for you...global frickin' warming! Spring ain't never comin' late again, you morons. It's been 70 degrees in New York. New York fer cris' sakes, and winter here in PA? Fugeddaboutit!

Now, if you'll excuse me. The missus and me gotta finish packing. We're movin' to Patagonia--gotta get above those risin' sea levels.

12 Comments:

You get 5 additional points for just spelling Punxsutawney! Just think, he'll be Patagonia Phil. BTW, your site looks fab, just fabulous.
I think you forgot a phrase over heard as PP turned his ass forward and head back in the hole:

"Fuck this, man, I'm movin' closer to the pole.
Thanks Peacechick...on both counts. The site was a bitch to work out, but once I found a magical 3 column formula...Voila!

WS...we're all going to be doing that pretty soon. Think Greenland's going to be looking pretty attractive in the not too distant future.
As a fellow groundhog, all I can say is go for it Phil!
He's probably just bitter about being mistaken for a hedgehog most of the year. Phil, buddy, lighten up!
Now listen up. I want you lot to forget all about global warming. Our George, who doesn't want some fancy trick from nature to dim his light, has decided if nature can warm things up, then he'll go a few steps better.

He's going to drop some nukes and really give the world a marshmellow roast or a mass barbie (depending on how you look at it) that they'll never forget.

Is it possible that George has a small dick do you think, one that matches his brain?
If Dick Cheney crawled out of his hole on February 2, did he see HIS shadow? If he did, does it mean six more years of war, and if he didn't, does it mean we will bomb Iran next month?
Lew... I'm sure Phil appreciates your support.

Fashiongirl...well and about being pulled from his hole by guys in tophats. Makes a groundhog a little cranky you know.
Is it possible that George has a small dick do you think, one that matches his brain?

No quite the opposite. He's probably a hung like a horse--takin' all the blood from his brain.

Snave... Cheney doesn't see his shadow anywhere he goes, reflection either.
I wonder if we can get him to predict an early end to the Iraq war.

BTW, do groundhogs eat frogs?
Great Post....I think Phil is right...we need to move..Greenland is looking fab...BTW the three columns look so good...and your blog is so crisp and easy to read...and thank you so much for the No Fuss guide...and all the help you have given to us stumbleheads as we grrapple with Blogger woes....
okay I am going to sit back by the fireplace- it is ONE friggin' degree here....

( Groundhogs are vegitarians and have healthy appetites...I had a Whole garden consumed by one a long time ago....I do admit their teeth are a bit scary..but their waddle is so cute..)
Abi...no...no. That depends on someone else seeing his shadow.

E4E... You're very welcome, and thanks for the compliment on the site. The only real change to the font's are that I removed absolute sizing. So now the fonts scale to whatever you have your browser set for. (I'm reliably told by my designer friends that this is the "right" way of doing things.)

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