Some days the post just writes itself...Psychics 'hired to find Bin Laden'
... However, after running up a bill of £18,000 of taxpayers' money, defence chiefs concluded there was 'little value' in using psychic powers in the defence of the nation and the research was taken no further.
Ever practical those Brits, but here's the best part. They couldn't even get professionals:
The MoD tried to recruit 12 'known' psychics who advertised their abilities on the Internet, but when they all refused they were forced to use 'novice' volunteers.
Maybe the Ministry simply didn't offer the pros enough money.
Good thing Bu$hCo didn't try this. Rumsfeld would have given the contract to Halliburton and spent $18,000,000,000 before giving up.
Miss Cleo wasn't available?
Maybe Montel Williams will have a show dedicated to finding Bin Boy. We'd all tune in for that one. Then, they could get Bid Laden's wives to come on the show and tell all.
The psychics were unable to determine Osama's whereabouts, but they were able to ascertain that former friends of his have now become his enemy.
Reminds me of an ad I saw in the Chronicle a number of years ago: "Men and women needed to answer phones for psychic hotline. No experience necessary."
Are you sure we haven't given billions to Halliburton for psychic services? Maybe that's where all those missing Iraqi billions went.
I saw bin laden drinking pabst blue ribbon on the back of a snowmobile with 'scooter' and 'shooter' out behind the lodge the other day. I coulda told the Gobment that for the bargin price of an 18 pack of Labatt Blue...
Why hire a professional, when we have one right in our midst? Cheney sees countries deserting us "as a good sign." Nobody else does. He's gotta be psychic....or psychotic!
They haven't found him because they really aren't looking for him. Remember, the Bush's and Bin Ladens go way back.
I don't know, but to me this physic thing could have had intiriguing possibilities in Pentagon. Can you imagine, how much greater the triuph in Mess-o-potamia would be if "the best damn Defence Secretary", herr Rumsfeld, would have had the best damn physic working along side him? I am convinced, that they would be constructing an Arch of Triumph now on the Pensylvania Ave.
What gets me is the matter of fact way the Brits approached it. I can just see two tweedy guys in MI5 discussing it:
"So what do you think Bertie...let's give psychics a go!"
"Capital idea! I'll get the PM on the line."
"Rumsfeld would have given the contract to Halliburton and spent $18,000,000,000 before giving up."
What kind of tea are they drinking at the Ministry of Love these days? At least they didn't try to hire Professors Dumbledore or Trelawney.
I have to admit, this story is good for a laugh at least.
SadButTrue... Dumbledore? Probably would have had more luck. Though, as it's been pointed out, it's not like Bu$hCo really want's to catch Bin Laden.