2007/01/26

What Movie Would Jesus Make?

Fear not revelationists. The millennium didn't pass without the appearance of Christ divine. He's here. He's Tom Cruise! Yes you heard right. The couch jumping, psychology dissing, Scientologist is their Christ...or so says David Miscavige, one of that church's leaders, in his own little 'mini-revelation' to The Sun.

So Pat Robertson and his cabal can now rest easy and begin asking that all important question:

What movie would Jesus make?

15 Comments:

Dogma, of course
Let me ponder that one for a while. Good question.
But Fashiongirl...isn't it too late for that? How about a remake of Jesus Christ Superstar?

Lizzy, don't strain yourself. ;-) It's the kind of question that could make your head explode.
Who'll be Mary Magdalene--Nicole or Mimi?
Oprah's couch will be a holy relic.
I can see Scientologists printing up the bumper stickers now:

"My boss is an over-paid actor."

From now on he shall be referred to as, "Thomas the Cruise."
"MAVERICK IS MY CO-PILOT" ! ! !
Mr_Blog... Nicole or Mimi? What about Katy? As for "MAVERICK..." Awesome!!! :-)

James... I'm imagining Cruise films being sold in the 'Religion' section at Borders.
It was St. Paul who gave rise to the Mary Magdalene-as-whore smear. I think that means only Tom's exes can be in that role.

Because I once worked in theater, I think there's a compromise: Mimi can be MM Tuesdays-Thursdays, Nicole on Fridays-Sundays.

If Katy ever leaves Tom, then she can be MM for the matinees. Oh, but I forgot about Penelope Cruz... Understudy?
I can assure you that Jesus appeared on the tracks of a railway station in Sydney, his face subsequently pasted on the platform wall.
I don't believe it was Tom who isn't well like in Sydney since splitting with their beloved Nichole.
So, I guess Matt "glib" Lauer would be Judas Iscariot or maybe Doubting Thomas? Oh Kvatch, TC couldn't be in a remake of JC Superstar, have you ever heard him sing? a lip-synching JC doesn't seem quite son-of-god-like.

What ARE you talking about, cartledge? Please tell me ozzies are more sensible than the tortilla jesus crowd. ~~ D.K.
"MAVERICK IS MY CO-PILOT" ! ! !

Great bumper sticker. We'll also have to change the "My boss is a Jewish carpenter" stickers to "My boss is a deranged couch-jumping actor".

Didn't Cruise play a quasi-Jesus/savior role in the film The Legend? I recall him battling a Satanic-looking villain. If so, that’s the film.
I think that means only Tom's exes can be in that role.

Perhaps, perhaps. I mean with Tom's track record, Katy will be history soon enough.

Cartledge, I heard it was the other way around, and that the beautiful Ms. Kidman dodged a bullet.

D.K., I confess I've only heard him sing in Top Gun, and it was indeed horrific, but maybe thay could do the Disney thing--you know Julie Andrews sings for Audrey Hepburn. I know: Harry Connick Jr. could do the voice overs!
No Harry Jr in TC flicks. I might have to watch one... {shudder} (Well, Rain Man was good, and but otherwise... blech!)

Lord, please Show Me The Money!

Oops, wait. That's what you have to do to get into that stoopid-assed cult.

Ne'ermind.
You just can't make this sh*t up! I had heard something about this but didn't pursue it but apparently it's for real.

I swear some people are just loons, pure and simple. (shakes head in total disbelief)

BTW, I'm sure you're familiar with these groups but here are the links for activities in CA this weekend. Remember CodePink sponsors quite a few of these rallies and I promise there are plenty of men involved.

Code Pink

UFPJ
A Few Good Wise Men?
Born on the 25th of December?
Cocktails for Christ?
War of the Romans?
The Color of Frankincense?

I know, those are pretty-bad. ; )

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