2007/01/17

GOP Intellectually Bankrupt - Reality TV Show Planned

Washington (f-A-ke. P.) -

House Minority Leader, John Boehner, admitted today that the GOP is intellectually bankrupt and could use an influx of new ideas. "We're thinking outside the box here," Rep. Boehner said "...considering all possible sources. Because frankly, we've got nothing."

Boehner's statement was timed to coincide with the announcement of an RNC funded Reality TV show that would solicit ideas from the conservative base. Outgoing RNC Chairman, Ken Mehlman, said of the new show -
I think that this may be my legacy to the GOP, and I'm pretty excited about it. We're thinking of calling it The Strategist and using the format of NBC's The Apprentice. Karl Rove wants to be our 'Donald'. How about that, huh?!
Though it's not known how ideas and contestants will be eliminated from the show, one rumor suggested that the tagline, "That's just a stupid liberal idea..." might be used.

Ideas for The Strategist's first season include:
  • Debt reducing bake sales at GOP fundraising events
  • Faith-based outreach programs for disgraced Republican lawmakers
  • TV shows like Pimp My Stock Car, designed to bring Blacks and Latinos into the NASCAR fold

21 Comments:

"RNC Files Ch. 11 Intellectual Bankruptcy"
Hopes to reemerge after makeover


The Republican National Committee today announced it had filed for Ch. 11 intellectual bankruptcy. Major
intellectual creditors include James Dobson and Pat Robertson.

"Why are we intellectually bankrupt?" one GOP insider asked rhetorically. "Our leading White House prospect in 2008 is Newt Gingrich for chrissakes, you figure it out."

The RNC hopes to emerge from intellectual bankruptcy after finding a new buyer to provide an infusion of intellectual capital. Fred Phelps and Lyndon LaRouche are thought to top the list of potential investors. However, K Street market analysts say a buyout by Wal-Mart or Halliburton is a strong possibility.
Mid season replacement: The Capitol Hill Mole starring Joe Lieberman.
Nice premise. Good posting. I give it an 8 'cause it has a good bass line.
Pitch time!

How about "The Apprentice Turd Blossom"? Karl Rove assigns a bunch of 20-something Young Resmuglican types to carry out a series of sleazy political tasks. Then they all meet in a Boardroom where Turd Blossom himself evaluates their performance; sitting at his right hand will be Donald Segretti.

Hopefuls who don't make the cut will be told "You're Smeared," and they have to leave and take a job as PA to Ann Coulter. Or Naomi Campbell; still thinking on that part. The Winner gets an appointment to a high position in Iraq, like Director of setting up the Baghdad stock exchange.

Wait, I think this might be derivative...
Rule number one when trying to think outside the box: GET OUT OF THE BOX.
RNC Files Ch. 11 Intellectual Bankruptcy

Mr_Blog...that's terrific! If you post, I'll link it and wish (silently) that I'd thought of it first! :-)

Xsociate, another good one!

DBK...but can you dance to it?
Mr_Blog, I like the having to pimp for Campbell or Coulter bit, assuming the two stay out of jail that is.

Romunov... I think they're stuck. I mean the formula has worked for the major networks for so long, why not for the RNC?
If you post, I'll link it and wish (silently) that I'd thought of it first!


Oh, I think I'm happy to let it live here, under the protective custody of Kvatch's Kommandos.
HA!HA! "The Strategist"- that's good.

That outfit is a lot more than intellectually bankrupt.
Funny! Losers have to go to Iraq?
Here's their theme song, courtesy of the great Jackson Browne:

Running on empty, running blind
Running into the sun but I'm running behind


How about a reality show like Flavor of Love where male contestants compete for Condi's love and affection? There are several Young College Republicans who would jump at the chance...
Chuck...morally? Ethically? Financially? Sexually? All-o-the-above?

Peacechick... Ouch! What a punishment--Very harsh.

Comandante... Well at least that would take care of Boxer's comment that Condi has no sacrifice to make in the WoT. Though I assume that even the most fertile young 'Thuglican is going to have some problems siring his progeny on Condi.
How about, "Gay, Divorced, or Convicted..."

No...nothing?
I foresee the "God Warrior" of Fox's Nanny 911 getting her own show on FOX News. Everything opposed to Christian Republican "morals" will be linked with satan and then she'll barf all over the place.
Would the winner hear, "You're indicted?"
Would the winner hear, "You're indicted?"

Probably no. Not as long as shrub and his ilk remain in control of the Justice Dept.
Personally I think that the Dark Lord Dick {Hermann Goering} Cheney be in the room and when the losers are told your fired, Old Dick Head shoots them in the face with a shotgun. Afterwards he don't talk to the police til the next day when he's sober.

God Bless.
LMAO..I do love your fake ones..thanks for the smirk:)
Fred, that link to the NY Times story...truly scary. I especially like what they mentioned about the desires of the heterosexual man being utterly irrelevant. Apply that to the contestants on The Strategist and you get: We take your idea and...you're fired!

Lew :-) :-) :-) Sounds like a promising avenue for Faux News
Me4Prez... Haris is right, and now that DoJ is 'retiring' their best, most aggressive attorneys, it's doubly the case that the 'Thuglicans will get away without indictments.

AnonP, or maybe just Satan?

Dusty...my pleasure. Glad you enjoyed it.
Correction to my above comment....
Should have read Dark Lord Dick {Joseph Goebbels} Cheney. The other title belongs to Donald {Hermann Goering} Rumsfeld instead.

God Bless.

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