2007/01/31

FBI to NSA: Our Pipe Is Fatter Than Your Pipe

So now we know that the FBI is engaging in it's own indiscriminate "Fat Pipe" hoovering of data from the ISPs and Telcos--almost as if they feel they've got to "one-up" the NSA who've already been caught with their taps on the lines.

One wonders what these guys talk about in bars:

NSA: So I hear you guys are sweeping up petabytes of data from the Internet.
FBI: Yeah...our operation makes yours look like a pair of cans and a string.
NSA: Really? You know we listen in on your cell calls from the can, right?
FBI: Well I've got a tap on your mother's laptop. Her AIM address is "HotMama4U".
NSA: So what? I've got thirty racy emails from your sister to some dude named Bobo in Weehawken.
FBI: You know we've got your wife and kids under surveillance?
NSA: Oh yeah?! Well, I put your parents on the "No-fly-train-boat-drive" list!
FBI: My guys rendered your brother-in-law to Albania last week. Dude cried like a little girl!
NSA: We're gonna strip your wife of her citizenship and send her to Gitmo!
...
FBI: Hey...hey. We shouldn't be fighting. We should be cooperating.
NSA: You know, you're right. How about we go and really f*ck over those ACLU pukes?
FBI: Now you're talking!

12 Comments:

Reminds me of Mad magazine's Spy vs. Spy comic. It would be funny if it didn't involve the invasion of our privacy and the subversion of the Constitution.
KPiG did a great skit on this last year using a cheating couple.

I would like to think that since our country is so large that it wouldn't be easy to take over, then I remember the lemming factor is as high as we are large.
Comandante, Deb... It doesn't surprise me a bit that the FBI is trying this kind of nonsense. Just the fact that NSA may get away with it probably emboldened them. I'm expecting an EFF lawsuit within days, if it hasn't already been filed.

Deb, to address your second point: I'm not so sure about people following the government like lemmings at this juncture. People are so pissed off, many would probably try emigrating first. Some states might try to secede in a situation where a Bu$hCo tried to ...say...cancel elections. Imagine if 1/10th of the US's population (aka California) told the US to f*ck off.
To quote Two Crows,

it looks like 1984 has finally arrived...23 years late but it's here now.
I'm just about ready to dump my computer and go back to two tin cans and a string. ;-)
I think we should have the FBI spy on the NSA to make sure they aren't breaking any laws.

I think that government could go a long way before a lot of people caught on and got mad, but I think there are enough sane people to prevent too big of governmental power grab. I hope so anyway. I wouldn't do well in GitMo
The sad truth is, they probably joke about how a Senate subcommittee is trying to shut the program down, but they have too many Senators on tape talking to their boyfriends, scoring dope, arranging to pick up bribe money...

Warrants? We don't need no steenkeeng warrants.
PoliShifter...1984 indeed! I forget. Are we fighting Oceania or Eurasia?

Kathy... Don't do that. At least with a computer you can employ encryption. With cans and a string? Encryption is really tough.
Me4Prez... Now there's an idea, but I think we'd have to put the FBI under a different branch. Maybe the Judicial.

SadButTrue... You know, of your many comments this one is perhaps the most appropriate to your alias. :-)
Imagine if 1/10th of the US's population (aka California) told the US to f*ck off.
Oh Wow!! Party time's here again!! Just teasing.:) This is a hell of a post because it's so accurate it'd make a GPS blush! "Who's going to guard the guards?"
Oh Wow!! Party time's here again!! Just teasing.

You say that now TFWY, but when I get tired of the high cost of living out here, I'm probably going to sell my flat, move to oh...say...Columbia South Carolina, buy a nice little bungalow, overpay, bring in a gaggle of gay contractors to renovate the crap out of it, and then drive up the property values. ;-)
Like I said, they would do anything to stay in power and I mean anything.

Tapping your lines should be the least of your worries. There may be no elections come 2008 if Der Fuehrer takes us into World War III with Iran as the leadoff of it.

Martial Law would insue and the Constitution set aside when the people rise up against him.

Then he will institute his Civilian Reserve Corps with Blackwater or another security type firm to subdue the massess.

It does look more and more like were really screwed now.

God Bless.

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