2007/01/28

Bumper Stickers For Scientologists

20 Comments:

I feel the need, the need for speed!
Ever seen Sleep With Me? In that movie, Eric Stoltz and Quentin Tarantino do a great job of exposing the hidden gay context of that movie.
"You can ride my tail anytime!"
I was a Top Gun addict!! I mean, I bought a backup DVD of Top Gun when I bought Top Gun.;)

What in the hell happened to that boy?..(: When he went postal on Oprah's couch, both DVD's went in the trash! He's right about one thing - I don't understand psychiatry, because I sure don't understand that fruitcake!!
WS, is that a subtle 'Reverend Ted' reference? :-)

Lew...haven't seen it but now I guess I'm gonna have to.

TFWY... You can't trust a religion that started because of a bet between two science-fiction authors--just leads to all sorts of trouble.
That, as the President would say, is FABulous!

Other ideas we can workshop:

a Christian fish jumping on a sofa;

"Show me the stigmata!"
The whole thing is ridiculous.
The story by one of England’s worst tabloids “The Sun”, is 100% false. It is also harmful, libelous and foments incorrect notions about my religion Scientology so as to cause strife and intolerance. I need your help to set the record straight.

In actual fact, nobody within the Church of Scientology considers themselves to be “Christ-like” – this would be a very inappropriate and arrogant comment and I’m sure you can see how this is being used only to antagonize Christians everywhere.

We Scientologists appreciate Tom Cruise’s efforts as a spokesperson of many of our Church’s initiatives. But he’s just an actor, holds no rank within our Church, and is by NO MEANS a “prophet” – and I am certain he himself would be embarrassed at the thought.

By the way, you might remember that, before he dared speak out against Big Pharma, Tom Cruise was a generally well-liked actor. If you think about it, standing on a couch is not *that* big a deal. The fact is that the drug companies have engaged in a whisper campaign of character assassination on this actor. And with good reason: since Cruise spoke out, sales of Ritalin are down 21% in USA, sales of Paxil are now banned in the UK by the UK FDA, and the U.S. FDA requires blackbox labels on all antidepressants. And Big Pharma is mad, their pockets have taken the hit.
Anonymous... I can appreciate that you're upset, but since the point hasn't gotten across, let me make it crystalline clear:

THIS POST IS SATIRE!

...and I think that my readers (all ten of them) are smart enough to recognize that--smart enough to realize that my original post on the subject was as much a stab at The Sun as it was a stab at Scientology. So...perhaps we can dispense with the "...being used to antagonize Christians everywhere," theme. Believe me when I tell you that I've gone out of my way to antagonize Christians without the need for Scientology as a means.

As for Cruise himself...no "whisper campaign" will do more damange to his reputation than he himself has done. The man behaves like a ass both on and off the screen, and perhaps that should concern Scientology.
Can I just say...LOL!
Frog, you mean to say this blog is SATIRE? I had no idea. This changes everything...

Oh, never mind.
Mary...you may, and you're welcome. Glad you enjoyed it.

Diva...yeah. Go figure.
Oh, shit...You went ahead and pissed off the Scientologists, Kvatch. The ghost of L. Ron Hubbard will haunt your dreams. Better beware, 'cos Xenu and his thetan army is coming to kick your ass!
I got a letter (as a comment) from Scientology asking that I support them in fighting the Sun's lies.

Hi-larious.
I absolutely love it when targets of satire don't get it. It happens regularly on my flame war blog, and it always makes my day.

They get all outraged about it and start arguing with you as though the satire was serious. Of course this merely invites further satire.

Let's hope for another comment from Anonymous, something like "I have a sense of humor, really, but there's nothing funny about, blah blah blah..."
Comandante... You're saying that I'm going to be haunted by the ghost of a bad science fiction writer? AAAUUUGGHHH! Just please tell me that the dreams won't look like that horrible movie adaption of Battlefield Earth!

SA...yup that looks like the same guy alright. Didn't even sign his name over here.

Mr_Blog... I think, on the whole, a "satire-ectomy" seems to be a part of the process of joining that church.
Hey Froggie - wanna start our own religion based on Blogging?

Just think - we could try to declare our internet connection fees as tax-free contributions.

We could hire back-up singers!
We could write a whole new scripture, and make it hummable to the "Fanfare for the Common Man"

Heck - our very BLOG entries would be EPISTLES!!!

The Church of the Etherworld
All your lost-packets are belong to us...
Meh... I'd piss on that one as soon as on any wee fishy.

Not that I'm prone to such incivilities, to be sure. {-;
ROTFLMAO!!!
I can just see some freaky dude on his computer ALL DAY LONG googling that word, and then PERSONALLY visiting the blog.
OMFG.
Sewmouse... You know one of the BlognonyFRIENDS did exactly that--started her own religion on a blog. Damn! I wish I could remember who it was. Oh well... I suggest:

"First Church of the Ether" :-)

Michael, Old Broad... What really got me was that the Anonymous Scientologist accused me of inciting Christians. Like I need Scientologies help for that. Sheesh.
I can just see it now. "In a letter from Kvatch to the Galacians..."
I can just see it now. "In a letter from Kvatch to the Galacians..."

Careful what you say Fashiongirl. This is Blognonymous where everything is fair game.

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