2006/12/04

TSA Asks - What's Under Your Clothes?

TSA announces the deployment of "backscatter" x-ray technology that can determine what you do, and do not, have on under your clothes.

TSA Cootchie Detector
Agency officials have said that this will allow them to definitively determine whether or not Britney Spears is "flying commando" but also strenuously deny allegations that the technology is being referred to privately as "the cootchie detector".

(But seriously folks, check out James and Libby who take a much more sober look at this technology.)

24 Comments:

But I'm guessing it still doesn't detect radioactive material.

Can they invade our privacy any more without actually protecting us?

Wait, don't answer, I don't want to know.
You too can have the same thing, (and probably better), right
at your friendly Sony Dealer. I'm unsure of the detail it will show. I guess I'd rather have a picture of my fat ass hanging on the wall, than to have it patted down and felt up.

There is one thing I can say as a truism: There's going to be a lot more "me's" ran through that thing, than there are Britney Spears, so I wouldn't turn in that job application just yet.
I'm not so sure about the me Future. At any rate it sure leaves the Britneys vulnerable. Don't like it.
LOL Kvatch. I'm thinking it's a lie detector for guys. No more exaggerating the size...
Makes you wonder what kind of people will apply for the job of running and viewing this thing.

None for me, thanks.

I wonder what we would have seen if bush had stood in front of it in his flight suit?
Praguetwin...nope, but whether you're wearing granny panties or a thong? You betcha!

TFWY..."me's ran through that thing"...no argument there. If fact, I would think that our gallant TSA employees may need some form of counseling.

Mary, you mean in a way that the "pantyless" crowd isn't already?

Libby, I hadn't thought about that! LOL! We're gonna need to redefine those rulers again.
I recall a post on this very blog that suggested we all go through airport screening naked. Clearly the TSA was listening, and decided to go with the next best thing, in deference to colder weather.
PoP...Eeeewwww! That's a scary thought. And as for the Dear Leader, I'll bet he wears the "special" undies.

Diva, you're right I did. Hah-haha! Who would have credited TSA with considering who uncomfortable it would have been for us to go through security in paper gowns? Brrrrrr!
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"special undies"? Like... with pictures of smurfs on the plastic-pull-tab part?

This is just another reason for me not to fly anymore until the TSA is disbanded.
I say we return to the fashionable days of train travel.
Sewmouse... :-) :-) :-) Or perhaps Depends. Probably needed those on Nov. 8th, huh?

James, I'm all over that. Train travel is great! Can you imagine high-speed rail between the West and East coasts...awesome. I definitely do that over a plane flight.
How'd I know Brittney would make her way into this post...
They can blur nipples & pubic hair, but there's no hiding those rolls of fat. Am I the only one who feels creepy about someone 1/2 my age staring at my "bits"? I should paint a disclaimer on my chest, "this is what you have to look forward to". You're right, these people are gonna need counseling big time. I can see the future job-disability claims now. There is also the issue of why go through all this effort & then let luggage & cargo slide on by. ~~ D.K.
How'd I know Brittney would make her way into this post...

Because...my good friend, Ms. Spears has this rather nasty habit of being caught in public without her knickers. :-)

D.K., I actually trimmed that individual in the picture a bit when I Photoshopped it. But you are correct, who wants these people seeing all our naughty bits?
Several years ago I worked for a San Diego City Councilwoman. She was, still is, pretty. The council meetings were televised on public access cable.

Whenever the council took a break the cameraman would would do extreme closeups of my boss's breasts. That cameraman must be a high-ranked executive at TSA now.
They will see nothing but sexy under my clothes. Well, if they can see through the layer of protective fat I have stored to keep my six pack and other muscles from getting bruised.
PoP, if Bush had stood in front of one of those things during his debates with Kerry, we would have seen some kind of communication device, traceable to Karl or Dick at the other end.

Praguetwin's question "Can they invade our privacy any more without actually protecting us?" is the question of the day. Scheise...

I guess I will have to 1) be sure to wear underwear at the airport so as to not be embarrassed, and 2) hope they don't develop technology that can show stains and/or skids in the underwear. My flabby gut and manboobs are bad enough, but the atrophy in my arms, in my legs and in other apparatus is unbearable.
Knighterrant, no doubt about it. Probably conceived of the whole scheme.

Me4Prez, please, Please, PLEASE don't tell me that you're "bringing back sexy"!

Snave...remember those parental admonishments when you were a kid: "Always make sure your underwear is clean, you never know who might have to see them." Well maybe we could just switch to, "Make sure you're wearing underwear..."
I can drive straight through to CA, I just KNOW I can. Indiana IS the meth capital of America after all. . .lol
I note I'm not alone in my (honest) self imagery. A quick note: Do y'all suppose if any terrorist caught was sentenced to watching endless looped tape of "us", terrorism would stop? We could be national hero's!! Libby Spencer: They have THAT in a national database too?
That woman must be stopped!!! It looks like her bra and panties are lined with dangerous metals. Or something.
At least she can always opt for the pat-down & grope.
John, you're not serious? The meth capital? Can we trade. We've got some meth addicts we could send your way, and we'd be willing to trade for some religious nuts.

TFWY, I think just looking at picutres of Americans at Disneyland would be enough to turn even the most hardened terrorist.

Glomgold, welcome. Or perhaps enhanced with dangerous munitions like Photoshop. ;-) And about that second part...Ewwwwww!
I must

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