2006/12/12

Blognonymous Holiday Gift Guide - Part 3

[The following is an advertisement that I wish like hell I was getting paid for.]

Friends, do you worry that there are no gifts out there that give your child a positive Christian message? Are you concerned about the pointless violence in video games? Are you afraid that, when the end times come, your child won't know what to do?

Well ease your fears and give your child a game they'll love. Left Behind: Eternal Forces is the FPP ("First Person Proselytizer") that teaches your child to either convert the unbelievers...OR SHOOT THEM. Yes, your child will learn what's required of them at the end of days, and you can rest easy knowing that they're not playing a game with the morals of "Leisure Suit Larry".

(Left Behind: Eternal Forces, for PCs running Windoze XP because Mac users are liberal devil worshippers.)

Part 2 <<  Blognonymous Holiday Gift Guide  >> Part 4

18 Comments:

Good Lord!! Santa would be horrified.

I just stopped in to say Merry Christmas, Kvatch, since I won't be doing much computing in the next 3 weeks...if at all. I hope you and your readers have a joyful holiday season. And in the event I am computer-deprived at the end of the year, I also wish you a safe and happy New Year.
Thank god for this game. What we really need are crazy evangelicals who think that it is OK to shoot people who won't follow them.

I wish I was a liberal Mac using evildoing hippy. We sued to use Macs, but my wife's godforsaken workplace switched to PCs and we switched so that she could still work from home when needed
As someone commented on my blog when I wrote about it (and DAMN, I wish I'd thought of this comment): "Because who would Jesus shoot?"

RE: Battlestar Galactica, I commented to you that TV CAN'T be that good all the time because BG is a rare gem. That's my favorite show right now. AND if TV were that good all the time, I'd never leave the house!

Firefly fan?

I think I'll so a Sci-Fi channel post....
(shakes head and sighs in disgust).
OMFG!!!!!!
Cranky...Merry Christmas to you as too. (Well, assuming, of course, that The Raputre doesn't happen over the holiday!) Before you head off take a look at your poem (a few posts down)--many nice comments there.

Me4Prez, you know it man! The battle is coming, and they (uh...we?) need to be prepared.

James, I think that HillCountryGal has the right idea: OMFG...indeed!
Julien,

Firefly? You know it! The Frogette and I can repeat whole stretches of dialog--got the DVDs and everything. Serenity too!

I ain't never credited the Alliance with an over-abundence of brains...

Mal Reynolds
I am a well trained machine. Just last weekend, I beat the whole Nazi army by myself playing Medal of Honor. Well, most of it anyway.

I also defeated the Mongols on Empire Earth
What do you expect from the Fascist Christians. If I remember correctly Hitler considered himself a Christian and even had his Christian Youth Movement and he also had a Medal for women who got had plenty of children as he was against abortion also.

Gee, that sounds like the Republican Party in power right now, but leaving soon. Thank God for miracles.

God Bless.
"You can either play for the 'good side' by trying to convert nonbelievers to your side or join the Antichrist."

Well, at least they give me the option of playing for the other side. I'm cranking up "Anarchy in the UK" and gonna shoot me some bible thumpers!
Thanks, I'll join the Dark Side in this battle.
Wow! A game where I can actually shoot Christians? Sounds like a fantasy come true, if ya ask me!
Me4Prez...you and the Troll Watcher can defend me. I haven't done any gaming since Quake, and I sucked anyway.

AnonP, the purveyors of this particular game are claiming that the violence toward non-Christians is irrelevant since the players have to do pennance if they kill a non-believer. F*cking lunacy!
Comandante...do they? You and Snave both, joining up with the forces of evil! :-)
kvatch....

Just had a brilliant idea. At least I think it is. What if an athiest put out a game to kill christians. Do you think the zealots would cry out for banning it?
After all it would be seen as an attack on Christianity by them, wouldn't it?

Now that would be a cool thing too see and read about.

God Bless.
AnonP, that's outstanding! But you should know better than to give me any ideas. ;-)
Hey kvatch,

Can you believe these nutcases? Thanks for the visit and link as it looks like we're both thinking WTF is going on?

I swear you just can't make this shit up.
This statement is posted from an employee of Left Behind Games on behalf of Troy Lyndon, our Chief Executive Officer.

There has been in incredible amount of MISINFORMATION published in the media and in online blogs here and elsewhere.

Pacifist Christians and other groups are taking the game material out of context to support their own causes. There is NO “killing in the name of God” and NO “convert or die”. There are NO “negative portrayals of Muslims” and there are NO “points for killing”.

Please play the game demo for yourself (to at least level 5 of 40) to get an accurate perspective, or listen to what CREDIBLE unbiased experts are saying after reviewing the game at www.leftbehindgames.com/pages/controversy.com

Then, we’d love to hear your feedback as an informed player.

The reality is that we’re receiving reports everyday of how this game is positively affecting lives by all who play it.

Thank you for taking the time to be a responsible blogger.

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