2006/11/24

A Turkey Day Post Mortem

Now that Thanksgiving is over, let me just say this and then the recriminations can begin.

I hate turkey!!!

I know it's traditional. I know that turkey is the bird that people love to dump on. They're stupid. They're slow. But you know what else? They-don't--taste--good! I mean, I don't like football either, but that's only because I'm an un-American kook. And so I have to ask: What compels American families rush out to buy a bird that, once cooked, can only be choked down when it's smothered in gravy and stuffing? AAAUUUGGGGHHHH!

For our part, we spent a wonderful Thanksgiving with friends who think about turkey the same way that we do. In other words, they fixed some awesome steaks and we brought pies and non-traditional veggies to go with it. And I really think this gets to the heart of the matter. Why do we have this one meal every year where we eat foods that we wouldn't ordinarily prepare? Cranberry sauce? Never touch the stuff...except at Thanksgiving. And when was the last time you fixed yams?!

So here's a suggestion: Be extra thankful next year by letting the sad, stupid birds live out their lives. Have a steak or a special fish. If you're a Muslim, how about lamb? Jewish? Maybe a nice brisket, but please, please, please don't make me face more dry white meat!

24 Comments:

I'm done with turkey and the post-turkey coma. It's worse every year! What's in that bird? NyQuil?
I'm done with turkey and the post-turkey coma. It's worse every year!

You know SA, I'd totally forgetten about that. Didn't I read a few years ago about scientists isolating an enzyme in turkey meat that has a narcotic effect on humans?

Another good reason to go for lamb-chops.
Tryptophan. I cooked the bejesus out of the turkey yesterday to the point that it could be considered powdered turkey, so I didn't eat too much of it. All the vegetables turned out great, though.
I just looked up the same link to tryptophan and realized ptcruiser had beaten me to it.

I took a nap yesterday afternoon. I didn't have any turkey on my dinner plate but I was nibbling most of the morning after it came out of the oven.

I do the traditional thing because everyone expects it and somehow I've turned into a matriarch.

One year though, when I still lived in San Francisco, I woke up too sick to do all that cooking. We ordered Chinese for a dozen people and had a great time.
Creole pork chops with orange spiced sweet potatoes and white asparagus. Very tasty and different colors on the plate. Also, impossible to overeat since I only made two chops. I wanted to do duck but it wasn't in the budget. Breakfast was chorizo scrambled with potatoes and eggs. Served with mimosas. Yum. No family, no arguments, no indigestion.

It was a good day.
PT, Granny thanks for the reference. I was too lazy to go and look it up for myself.

Debra, yuuuummmmmm! I was to come to your house next year! :-)
We did steaks, too - porterhouse. My brother-in-law stopped by and I could see he really wanted to stay here as he was consigned to traditional turkey. The steaks were fantastic.
well, I like turkey, but don't like to cook it. This yr I made baked stuffed boneless pork cutlets. all the traditional T-G acoutrements, but no turkey hangover. I really think the company (and wine) made the meal though. Dogs enjoyed leftovers. I would never serve something I knew family or friends hated. Wish I was similarly catered to when forced to watch sushi-eaters.

Oh, I'm with you on football. When a game's on, I read, walk dogs, garden, pay bills & it's STILL only half-time. ~~ D.K.
I like turkey, but I don't roast it like Mom did. I cook in a pot with a tight lid and let it keep all the juicy inside.

The thing i hate is scraping it all off the bones. Why dont' they sell boneless, skinless turkeys, like they do chicken?

I could easily become a tryptophan addict...
We're huge poultry fans, so we have turkey, as well as chicken, quite often, not just for Thanksgiving. As to why "that one day".....good ole American "cause everybody else does it?:)" A lot of the white meat is dry because the bird is taken out of the oven, and cut up five minutes later. It should sit, covered, in the cooking pan for at least fifteen minutes, to allow the juices to "settle" back in. The juices come to the top when roasting, and if not allowed to settle back in, you're having turkey dust for T-day. YUCK!!

sewmouse: Your wish has been available for quite some time. We have them once in a while, and they are tasty. Sam's Club usually carries them.
No turkey on Thanksgiving? What kind of friggin' communist are you? I suppose you slept in this morning as well, instead of rising early to join the lines of good decent Americans waiting for Wal-Mart to open to spend yourself into debt to prop up the retail economy! And you don't like football either! You must be some kind of commie,let me tell you what!
Glad you had a good Thanksgiving Kvatch..

God Bless.
What, you don't like football?? That does it! I always suspected you were a Communist, and now I know :)
I am lucky enough to have a fantastic family - my side is in FL, but my husband's family is here in LA and whenever we get together it is wonderful. I do love the dried up turkey, and everything that goes along with it, and i also love the fact that I only have to cook 2 dishes to bring over to my sister-in-law's. And no football (my family's only vice!)
It was just the four of us this year, and I bought a small(4#)pre-cooked ham. My 6-year-old INSISTED on turkey though, so I picked up a small pre-cooked breast.

This all went so smoothly that I may NEVER cook either a ham or turkey again!!
My mom and dad join forces on holidays and the food is so good I suppose I never questioned the turkey... Ugly things and stupid, but when mom and dad pull them from the oven and let them stew in their juices for a long time, you'd swear it melted in your mouth! Football...If it ain't college you won't find me near the television and even with college sports I rarely watch. I'm the uncle that takes all the kids on a long walk everytime we get together (twice a month or so). I played sports in and ouot of school, but as for watching sports...not so much.

Kvatch isn't a commie. No. You all misunderstood...He's a comic. :>)
My Mom has a turkey recipe that I've made once, and it produces a great meal. But...and this is a big but...you have to baste the bloody bird every 15 minutes for 3+ hours. I've never tried it second time.

John, I agree with you. Ham for me at the holidays!

And Lew's not wrong...I am a commie! Friends reliably describe my politics as somewhat to the left of Fidel Castro, but hey...TPM...thanks for the sentiments anyway. :-)
Kvatch:

I appreciate your thoughtful wishes. We had a great Thanksgiving. Generally, I haven't liked Thanksgiving over the years.

However, this years was quite enjoyable. The best one yet I would say.

We eat a non-traditional Thanksgiving as well being vegetarian and all. ;)
My MIL forgot to put the turkey breasts on...so we ate really late...but those pre-turkey beers had the most wonderful effect on me. Just to qualify...the MIL shouldn't be cooking anymore...it wasn't good at all. I think I'll make tamales for Christmas just to piss her off. And that of course is a very long story. K. glad you had a good time be boyo!
We kinda skipped the whole holiday this year as my beloved was too ill to travel or eat. I went to a restaurant that prepares all of the food (the turkey is just the breast) and then you pop the food into the oven in stages and in a couple of hours you have a fairly traditional Thanksgiving meal. Thursday, my beloved was too ill, so we did the easy step-by-step instructions on Friday and then ate it again yesterday. It was a very subdued holiday, but we had lots to be thankful for, and just when we lost sight of reality, we hit Bring it On! blog to see the 1986 or 1984 William Burroughs Thanksgiving Day Prayer! It is a real treat.
Turkey is yummy! But they're not really stupid, you know.
You know, they say roast turkey won't come out dry if you soak it in a brine first.

Or deep fry them. Like we did.

That's good eatin', my friend. Good. Eatin'.

Unless you're a veggie, bless your hearts.

Generally, I loathe turkey but, for some reason, when Thanksgiving rolls around, I can't get enough of it.
James, Sumo...thanks for the kind wishes. The Frogette and I usually like a ham for the Holidays, but this year being with friends and all...

Pursey, actaully the idea of having the whole meal prepared sounds like a treat to me!

Julien...Bah! I'd rather eat an emu.

Mags, that whole deep frying thing sounds like an invitation to burning down one's flat. EEK! :-)
Happy Thanksgiving...

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