2006/11/19

The Pizza Flyer - Scourge of the Modern Metropolis

I've got a problem. My city is getting dirtier. Well...it was pretty dirty before--trash blowing around our streets, people leaving their junk on the sidewalks--but now I'm sweeping outside our flat almost every day. And what is it that makes such a mess, fills my trash bags and clogs our gutters, PIZZA FLYERS!

If you don't live in a major metropolitan area, you may not be familiar this modern form of advertising. It's basically a restaurant menu, pizza, Chinese, Indian, Thai, whatever, that somebody attaches to your front door. Sometimes they leave a few. Pizza FlyerSometimes they dump 'em by the dozens in your entryway. Maybe they slip them through your mail slot, but regardless of how or how many they leave, hundreds end up in the streets.

And how do you fight back against this scourge? Well I've tried signs saying "no flyers". I've called restaurants to tell them not to distribute the things on our block. The usual response being, "F*ck off. We've got a right to run a business!" or "Nothing I can do. Call the guy who distributes them for me." Though they never tell you who that is. One lady even accused me of targeting her restaurant specifically, of trying to drive her out of business. The police aren't helpful. Unless you've got a photo of someone actually dumping flyers in the streets, they don't want to hear about it. I've even gathered up all the flyers on our block and then tossed them into the lobby of an offending restaurant. I'm a popular guy at that place.

So the question remains, how do I get rid of this problem? All I want to do is clean up my feakin' block. Any suggestions?

15 Comments:

since I've had no luck stopping doorknob religous brochures on the grounds of "obscenity", I sympathize. I do like your idea of tossing it back into their place of business! perhaps there is an "illegal dumping" angle to pursue? if only there was something similar to the "do not call" list for all this stuff, including junk-mail. ~~ D.K.
I suggest rounding up all your neighbors who are tired of this scourge too and organizing a boycott of all restaurants who distribute them. Here, they stick them under your windshield wiper.
Dang,
This one seems unsolvable. I guess Lew is right, you could see if the other neighbors were sick of it too. This would drive me batty. I love the way you put the flyers in the lobby of an offending restaurant. I least you felt better.
D.K., "doorknob religious brouchures"? AUUGGG! That would be war in my book!

Lew, wouldn't help. As far as I can tell, nobody orders from these places anyway. I did get one restaurant who was more than happy to stop--didn't want to distribute on a block where their flyers would be "wasted".

Karena, the distributor that time dumped about a dozen right into our entryway (we have only 4 flats in the building), and boy was I pissed.
"Unsolvable," guess you haven't heard how they handle diplomacy out on the West Coast. Or you could just go the Freeper route and send them Anthrax letters...
*fake Anthrax
Set a recycling bin on the stoop with a sign attached: "Pizza flyers here, please."

We get a few of them, but it's more labor intensive to distribute them here where you have to walk a little between doorways.
Hey Fred, those are Angelinos--almost a separate species entirely.

Julien, knowing the people who inhabit my fair city, they'd probably overturn the bin just to be spiteful.
One possibility is to go down to the next City Council meeting (with a crowd of outraged citizens) and complain.

Harangue these city servants about the litter problem, the annoyance and propose a recycling tax on businesses that litter your door-way.

Not that much will done, but it will make the local news... Then, who knows?

Maybe the/your crowd can go out for pizza and beer to celebrate their civic "de Tocquevillian" participation.

Make civitizenry activism interesting, or at least entertaining. It's cheaper than a movie...
They (the restaurants) usually hire out labor for that externally- or send out their hourly employees to "door hang".

There might be a fairly easy solution. First, consider that a lot of trees are gonna die anyway (before someone jumps on that). Then consider that their door hangers aren't much for free thinking (hey- it's drone work).

Then, you have to be around when they're making their drops (the tough part). Intercept them and explain to them the problem you and others have with the flyers and that regardless of whether they're getting paid by the hour or the job, if most of the flyers somehow end up in a dumpster across town, they'll still make their money and have a lot more free time on their hands.

Just in case, let me tell you that I'm sorta joking, but you never know. If I told you I've used this idea successfully, would you believe me? :)
So scaramouche...do you think that we could get the City Council to pass a "do not leaflet" list? I'd be willing to coordinate it. Maybe do a website.

Chuck you have a point. Because, let's fact it, what do I do with the flyers? Throw 'em away.
Have you tried electrifying your front door? You could incinerate the little buggers the minute they're hung.
Interesting suggestions, but fashiongirl has the best one - electrify your front door. Pavlov would love it!
Do your own version of "Signs" (The song) and make up your own effing sign/flier "Citizens against unwanted SPAM" listing the names, addies and numbers of the offenders. Pass them out EVERYwhere. Stand in front of there establishments and pass them out while talking to passersby and motorists with a bullhorn!

OUT-annoy your annoyers! Viva la revolution!! ;)
I have no idea what the answer is, Kvatch, but when you figure it out, can you hop over a few blocks to my building and collect all the flyers that build up here? We get dozens each week, and there seems to be no stopping them.

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