Future Headlines - Rapture? What Rapture...
San Francisco (f-A-ke. P.) -
Future House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi (D CA), announced that, with the Democrats resounding success in the midterm elections, the dominion of Satan on Earth has begun. Stunned evangelicals were left to wonder about the supposedly missing rapture, but their confusion was short lived when government scientists announced that the Rapture occurred at 12:35 AM on the 8th, approximately 4 hours after polls closed on the west coast. "Apparently most conservatives were too depressed to notice," remarked an official from the Republican National Committee.
Satan, for his part, has announced his intention to work with the Democratic congress on initiatives that will greatly increase the "wages of sin". "We want to make the words 'you'll have to sell your soul to get that S.U.V.,' have real meaning again," the Great Deceiver was quoted as saying at a press conference earlier this afternoon.
I meant to tell you about something I learned on election day here in Michigan. Cameras, cell phone cameras and other video equipment were banned from all polling places. Our GOP secretary of state (who was reelected) quietly inserted that into the election laws shortly before the election. So much for wanting to protect our rights in Michigan.
Damn...I was counting on the Rapture to rid us of those clowns.
Tom, you and me both.
Tina, Satan is into anything that could increase his "soul count". :-)
And Peacechick...you know I don't write anything that doesn't have some truth in it, no matter how outrageous. ;-)
WS. indeed! Satan loves the left coast!
Fred, I wonder if the advertisers are abandoning the right-wingers yet? There would be some payback.
Fashiongirl...and sulfer is the new Channel.
I have a lot of respect for anybody that can write that, and mean it, as I know you did. I can't. I want their heads on a sizzling platter, and the hell with nice!:) But I have to ask you one question:
Have you ever been able to convince a rattlesnake to share his rock, so you both can catch the rays?
Forward Ho! We're aiming at the same goal, and we WILL prevail simply because we ARE better!!! You keep these kind of performances up, and I'm gonna have to shove South Park off my viewing schedule!:)
TFWY, don't get me wrong. I don't really have the noblest of intentions. When I said: "...but IMHO only after trying to be conciliatory," I'm being tactical. If the Democrats try cooperation and then the Republicans spurn it to pander to the far right, as they almost certainly will, the Democrats get to force their agenda down the neck-stumps of GOP...AND...claim the high ground!
Gracie, thanks. As I told PoP, there is nothing in my bizarre writing that doesn't have a kernal of truth.
After all the rich won't need it when they enter the rooms reserved for them in Hell.
God Bless all.