Future Headlines - No Sex Without Procreation
After the stunning success of the federal "No Sex Without Marriage" program, administration officials announced the next step in their drive to make sex in America more acceptable to God, the No Sex Without Procreation initiative.
Department of Health and Human Services Undersecretary for Sin, Courtney Windblatt-Smythe, said:
We've put the brakes on promiscuity among young adults. Now it's time to deal with married couples, and this new initiative will do just that. It will make sexual congress in this country godly and pure.When asked at the afternoon press briefing for the President's thoughts on the issue, Press Secretary Snow replied:
I asked President Bush about this just the other day, and he said that...well...you all know they have twin daughters and they've had sex...um...once. So I assume that the President is firmly behind this program.In related news, recently released studies show that, in fact, children are not losing their virginity earlier and that there appears to be no link between promiscuity and sexually transmitted disease. Administration officials have referred these findings as, "junk science".
i wonder if they are gonna give us lie-detectors???
porn is up but sex is outlawed...humm, do ya think they have a finger in the pie of the porn biz???
Fred, you mean like this?
Section 1. "Sex" in the United States shall be limited to relations, solely for the purpose of procreation, between one man and one woman within the bounds of a legally recognized 'marriage'. (See Amendment XXVIII).
Section 2. The Congress shall have the power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.
We'll call it the "Pope's Amendment", but we're gonna need a marriage amendment first in order to really do it right. ;-)
Pam, happy to be of service!
I thought this post was a spoof until I looked at the links. SOme of these jokers want to have our society be akin to that in "The Handmaid's Tale" Scheise... what a bunch on nincompoops...
Ah... Then my dear, you're a tease! (Well at least in the presence of the "No Sex Before Marriage" initiative.) Tell me...are you a "rules" girl?
Snave, there's always a little truth behind every report from the f-A-ke. P. Boggles the mind, doesn't it?
This past Saturday, Hubby and I were out and about running errands, and we went into Target to pick up Halloween candy for our Trick or Treaters. While waiting in the cashier line, we hear this woman announce behind us: "Oh my gosh! I had no idea you guys were expecting. Well, it is about time, I mean really, your daughter is HOW old now?"
This THING being so rude is our wingnut neighbor who lives down the street from us. We haven't exchanged any words with her since she attacked us for "daring" to have Kerry/Edwards signs in our front yard in '04.
My husband detests this woman, so he sees that I am about to open my mouth and answer her, but Hubby grabs my wrist and gives me this look of death. I clam up and Hubby spins around and says to Ms. None of Your Damn Business: "Yeah, we are expecting another baby. We carefully planned our children with birth control. You have heard of birth control, huh? It allows people like us who to love to screw each other get to have plenty of fun without worrying about bankrupting our home."
Ms. None of Your Business stood there in a stunned silence. Hubby spun around and we both had to bite our lip so we wouldn't burst out laughing. Ms. None of your Business said nothing more. She just walked away. Hmm.... I wonder if she'll bother to wave if she sees us doing yardwork?
Honestly, you just can't make this s*&t up!
Lew... The Devil finds work for idle glands.
Good for your husband! :-)
Gracie, wait for the coup and then the passage of the bill. That would be 'The Handmaid's Tale'.
Julien...OK, I didn't want to go here but...let's ban sex altogether: Prohibition on copulation!