2006/10/27

Weapons of Mass Distraction

Wired did a short bit recently on great movie weapons, and you know what...with the exception of the Ghostbuster's fusion pack, the list sucked. So I decided to put together my own list: Blognonymous Top 5 WMD's:

Noisy Cricket
The epitome of "big things come in small packages".
Zorg ZF-1
If the US Military had some of these, we'd need 10 soldiers in Iraq instead of 150,000.

Click Me!
The Death Star
When Ronald Reagan talked about "Star Wars" this is really what he had in mind.
The Doomsday Machine
And just in case a Death Star is too sophisticated for you, how this planet pulverizer from Star Trek?
The Genesis Device
And finally we have the weapon that not only destroys your enemies--by turning them into slime-molds--but remakes their planet into a paradise quite suitable for colonization.

12 Comments:

I would have to add the "squidies" from The Matrix. Those things give me flying monkey style nightmares.
I think we need a Death Star. We could hire Halliburton to manage and maintain it. They already have a guy that can be available to run the whole operation by 2008.
We need to invent the pocket Genesis and fire it in Iraq. Turn that Fertile Crescent back into the garden of Eden.
Fashiongirl...oooh squidies! I'd forgotten about those. That's a nightmare weapon.

PT, hey...maybe we could use Death Stars to protect the border? Darth Cheney can be the enforcer. "I find your lack of papers...disturbing."
Really. With our superior weaponry, why DOESN'T Rummy fight this war with ten troops? Super troops, of course. Should be a couple of women in there, you know, for sex appeal on the "reality" TV show that is sure to be a big hit. I'm looking forward to the torture episodes.
You're from Cali and you forgot Skynet?
Neil. Women...definitely! How about Leeloo? Or one of the female Cylons?

Fred, right you are...Skynet! That's an outstanding choice, but...it's hard to get a picture of Skynet. 'Bout the best you could do I think would be a picture of a Terminator or may Cyberdyne Systems.
PT Cruiser, I think that Death Star being run by Halliburton is a great idea. They could send ALL their CEOs up there, and then Luke Skywalker could lead the forces of good in a successful attack on it! Heh... sorry, not only was that in bad taste, but it may end up making me into a "person of interest".

Anyone here watch "Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law"? I think Reducto's ray gun would be quite nice. If we could distribute such weapons to the American people, then people like Bush and Cheney could be reduced in size and they might learn what it feels like to be one of "the little guys"!
Kaneda's laser rifle from Akira!

And a giant mutant bloated monster to shoot it at, for preference. I wonder of Karl Rove is free?
Snave! I'm sure you're already a 'person of interest'. :-\ But I sort of like the idea of a Bu$hCo Death Star.

Lukku, haven't seen Akira. Now I'm going to have to go and check it out.
We are the borg, resistance is futile. Submit and become one with us.

Like hell I will. These are the weapons real Americans need to take back our country from the fascist Nazi's running it.

God Bless.
Dude, you so have to go to Seattle and see the Science Fiction Museum. Was up there this weekend, and it's awesome. They have a great weapons exhibit.

Add a comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link