2006/10/20

Kvatch Kvetches - It's Not Easy Being Female

You've got the rules (laws, whatever...), and then you've got the rules that are just for the female of our species -

No Sluts At Our Jail
No sleeveless dresses or blouses. Revealing tops are out. Bras are a must. So say officials at the Vanderburgh County (Indiana) Jail. No enticing those prisoners, damnit! Don't follow the rules, and we'll make you come back in a burkha! No pretty girls either. But Mr. Jailer, sir? What about the rules for male visitors? How about no 'muscle' shirts or ripped jeans, shorts, spandex, or tank-tops? What? You say don't have gay prisoners, and women don't care? Are you loony?

The Egg Says: You Need To Look Your Best
I've heard the stories: The ovum, with it's crooked, taloned claws, grabs on to the fallopian tube and then has to be dragged down to the uterus kicking, screaming, and fighting. So in what twisted universe would this torturous drama be an occasion for 'looking one's best'? Just saying.

Before You're 40: Learn To Run...Really Fast
And finally, the Frogette turns us on to a ditzy article in the November Marie Claire (sorry no link), advising women of all the ways in which they should indulge themselves before they turn 40. These include: Buy a $78,000 car (a Cadillac), a $4,000 watch (Cartier), matching luggage (which happens to cost $3,400), and on, and on. What they don't bother with is advice on how avoid bill collectors...for the rest of your life.

6 Comments:

so suprised they didn't talk about needing women to be so skinny that you can blow them over with a feather...

geeze..i guess when they take away all of your freedoms - them mean ALL of them!!

and about running fast to avoid the creditors...well, that might work if you didn't buy all that stuff, but carrying a car and luggage -- you wouldn't get very far - grin
*sigh*
With reference to AZG's comment above - yah - why is it it's totally OK for a guy to be fat, balding, and uni-browed, but no matter what, women are expected to be thin, well dressed and totally "pulled together" if they wish to avoid ridicule in the mall?

How come there are "Big and Tall" Men's stores - but only "Tall" Women's stores, or Lane Bryant (which is an un-anagram for "Fat Ladies Shop Here")

Why did the advertising agencies stop with the embarassing Cruex commercials about "Jock Itch" - but still play ones for Tampax?

Why is it socially acceptable for someone who looks like John Goodman to ogle the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, but if someone who looks like Oprah or Rosie O'Donnel ogles Pierce Brosnan they get catcalls?
AZG, maybe that's what you need the $80K Caddy for, to stay one step ahead of the creditors.

...why is it it's totally OK for a guy to be fat, balding, and uni-browed, but no matter what...

Not only OK Sewmouse but frickin' required. When was the last time you saw a thin guy on a sitcom? King of Freakin' Queens; Goodman on...whatever the hell that show was called. In the world of TV, fat, bald guys get all the hot chicks. Yeah right!
"Sluts"? I think you mean "ladies."
I actually got to experience what it was like to visit a prisoner (my male cousin went to prison for attacking the man who sexually abused his son, which happened to be his ex-wife's latest boyfriend) and I can actually see where they might want to discourage flashing prisoners b/c there are plenty of kids there to visit their jailed parents... but a requirement to wear a bra? WTF? What's next? No thong undies and a granny-panty requirement?

There is also that study that shows that women who are not on birth control have a much higher libido during ovulation... I guess the itch to bear spawn truly does have evolutionary roots. But who knew it also influenced our fashion sense?
Mr_Blog, you're right. Forgive my poor choice of words. :-)

Tina, they'll probably start putting women through some kind of "sexy-clothes" detector, but as to the other. From what the Frogette has said about ovulation, who'd want to wear anything but sweats. Just saying.

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