Future Headlines - Osama bin Laden In US Custody

The GOP is in trouble and they're gonna need some help in the midterms. So what could salvage their dismal prospects? Only one thing...Osama bin Laden in custody. In fact, we've probably had him for a while, but Bush is never going to admit that. As far as the administration is concerned, intrepid members of our armed forces swept into Pakistan--Afghanistan, the moon, wherever--and captured him. And now he's sitting in Gitmo, "...being treated humanely in accordance with our laws and international treaties."

In October - Surprise, Surprise!

Now a short addendum: I'd planned to post this last Friday but got distracted, and over the weekend the Xsociate did a post on the exact same theme. So it seems I'm not the only one who thinks that they might trot out bin Laden. Kudos for beating me to the punch sir! :-)


damn! I so hate it when I don't keep up. what's next? Martha back in jail?

can someone please get me a game card.
I don't know how many people I've heard say the same thing, over the last year or so.:) Only one thing makes it unlikely, imo: Bush likes to brag too much. If you have a secret, he's an awful confidant!!
Thanks for the linkback.
If they do get him, they will have to dig up a dead body, but that will make good press too - torturing a dead body. And we wondered how low could the GOP go.
It would be the ultimate October surprise, but I don't think Bush and his minions are capable of pulling it off. Nabbing bin Laden would take a level of competence and diplomacy that they simply do not possess.
Shit, their already using his talking points...
Callooh... Martha's going back to jail?! Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes! :-)

TFWY, you're probably right about that. It would have been very tempting to drag him out at the first opportunity.

Xsociate, you're welcome. You managed the "scoop", credit where credit is due you know.
Mary, I think they've already got him, and Betty maybe the Pakistani's have bin Laden, and we just have to weasel the man out of their custody.

Fred, not just using his talking points, but using them for years. IMHO, Bush is a willing collaborator.
The list for the October surprise is long and impressive...kinda like...Bush's list of failures.
Catching/killing Osama would be one, but highly unlikely. There is a huge bounty on this guy and no one has yet to capture him to claim it?
Osama is the boogeyman, just waiting for the "red phone" call to rear his ugly ass when Bush needs to push fear on the world.
Frankly, I am more scared of George Bush in office for 2 more years than I am Osama. If the evils of this world wanted to see the United States distruct...they got it vicariously through George Bush being President. He has managed to screw the US up far worse than any terrorist attack could.
I just saw something the other day when some imam thinks Osama doesn't really exist. For myself, I think he's such an effective boogeyman for them that it would be mistake to "capture" him when they can use him to conjure up this amorphous threat to our safety. On the other hand, he is losing his effectiveness for that purpose so they may make the sacrifice. In any event, I've thought for some time that they have him in custody somewhere already. Hence the conveniently timed press releases just in time to do the most good for Georgie...
Yes, they'll trot out Osama--and then he and Bush will barnstorm the country together, hitting all the Resmuglican fundraisers.

"Osama, I want ya to meet Mike McGavick, the next senator from the state of Washington. Mike, this is what we're protecting America from."

"Great to meet you Mr. Bin Laden--"

"Ah yes. The drunkard. Which is against the Holy Koran, but any friend of George's is a friend of mine! No, I don't shake hands with infidels."

etc. etc.
actually - i think they will find him and then he will escape right after the elections in november

that way they never have to produce him, just use old photos - like the one on this post...
I don't think Osama will rise again (from his grave)for the October surprise, but he will release an audiotape encouraging Americans to vote Democrat.
I wouldn't mind snappin' bin laden with his unravled turbin...but you may be more right that you know Kvatch...but don't be surprised if they are unable to pull off that surprise - this administration continues to do nothing but remind us that they have not accomplished a thing.
Speaking for Alberto Gonzales, I DEMAND to know who leaked this sensitive information to you!
I don't buy it, but it is an interesting theory. I think if they did trot him out there would have to be some terrorist attack shortly thereafter to convince everyone that the threat remains.

And Rex, it isn't who leaked the information that is important, it is the treasonous media that reports it.

Right Froggy?
Ya know, I thought they were gonna trot him out tied on a stick like Mighty Joe Young during the 2004 Repub convention.

Maybe they just don't have him?

I mean it doesn't really seem like we are looking for him.

Also if he had been captured, I think after a year Al-Qaeda would say something. Just to turn the entire country against Bush.
Some day, some historian will discover that Osama Bin Laden never existed at all. He was created using CGI in the Industrial Light and Magic studio.
Shelly, Libby, I agree Osama has been pretty effective as the Bu$hCo boogeyman, but the midterms are going to be awfully important.

Herr Blog, I like the barnstorming idea. Maybe Osama could replace Chaney as the Veep--an ultimate "good cop, bad cop" sort of situation.

AZG..."like the one on this post"...oh thanks. I do my darndest to amuse my readers, and what do I get? Criticism, criticism, criticism. :-) :-) :-)
Lew, WS, maybe that audio tape idea has some merit. "Osama speaks to the Democrats!"

Rex, Armitage...the purveyor of all fine leaks.

Praguetwin, you are right of course. They really need to keep us on edge, and...thanks for sticking up for me.

Crackpot, I think the fact that we're not looking for him is exactly why we've got him.

KnightErrant, CGI from ILM... :-) :-) :-)
I have to go along with the conspiracy-theorist types who think Bush and Pals have Bin Laden cornered somewhere in Afghanistan or Pakistan and that it might take but a matter of a few hours to pull him out for all the world to see. I guess this means I am expecting the unexpected to happen. As Kvatch says, this midterm is AWFULLY important to the Republicans, and I would surely expect no less from them than a major October Surprise of some kind. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and they are getting desperate. Isn't it fun watching them squirm?

There will just about have to be an October Surprise this year. After all, if there isn't one, all they have is all those millions of dollars they publicly admitted they were going to use for negative political campaign advertising. Hmmmm. Well... I guess that HAS worked for them in the past. However, this time around I like to think the American voters will see through that crap. Thus, I believe they will trot out the attack ads and smear campaigns during the next month, (along with the lower gasoline prices, which I think they have probably been manipulating at least in part, for political purposes), and if things are still looking desperate by around mid-October (that is, if the suckers aren't taking their bait en masse) we will see something big.

It may be nothing more than the revealing of a few more foiled terror attacks, or maybe another video or two from terrorist leaders. OR, it might have something to do with Iran. It seemed to me the ultimatums to Iran have kind of been on a schedule that would lead to some major tensions by say, maybe about early Fall.

Whatever they try, there is really no denying the GOP is a political party in decline. It may only be in the early stages, but people are beginning to tire of all the b.s., and a number of Americans have grown to distrust the Bush administration more and more. And if enough people get CYNICAL enough about the GOP and its methods, fewer and fewer fish will be taking the bait.

If they DO "catch" Osama, more power to them. Better to have the guy in custody than to have him at large... although I have to think the timing of it would be a bit obvious if it were to happen during the next six weeks.

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