2006/09/19

The Diebold AccuBar TSX

For Immediate Release:

Diebold AccuBar TSX
Responding to accusations that their touchscreen voting machines are as easy to get into as your average hotel minibar, Diebold today announced the immediate availability of the new AccuBar TSX--a combined voting machine and refreshment dispenser. Now not only can voters cast their ballot for their favorite (Republican) candidate, but they'll also be able to obtain a refreshing soft drink, mineral water, or alcoholic libation.

Diebold encourages only responsible consumption. Never drink and vote.
(Unless of course you live in Florida, and Katherine Harris is still in the Senate race.)

26 Comments:

OMG - this blog is cracking me UP!!

That's it - you are getting blog stalked! ;-).

(that sponge bob song has been in my head ALL DAY LONG. My kids keep correcting my verses!! No mom - it's sponge BOB not sponge BUSH).
Frog, don't forget that as you remove items from the voting mini-bar, you will be charged three times their value. You pay at the exit poll.
LOL!
Mary, Pam...glad you enjoyed it. When I read the article on how the key that keeps the the machine's flash memory secure is basically a mini-bar key, I practically choked.

Diva, lends whole new meaning to the term, doesn't it?
They just HAVE to get those in Chicago... Vote early, Vote often!!

*hic*
Very clever, froggy wan.
oh dear Froggy you have killed me again...thank you...
And I am sure those machines will all contain plenty of varieties of KOOL-AID!!! Heh...
this is so good...

you can numb out while they steal you vote!!! laughing!!!
Alcoholic libations? Gee, I didn't know those fundie wingnuts consumed alcohol. ;-)
Sewmouse...here to. Though I think that, in order to appeas to us here in Sodom by the Sea, they'll need to dispense espresso!

DBK, E4R...thanks so much. It's just been a paste-up sort of week.
Snave...Kool-Aid, live-aid, corporate-aid, aid to the rich and undeserving. You name it...

AZG, as the wise pundit once said, "Alcohol, it's the only way to vote."

Kathy, not for them. For us. :-) If you're all juiced up, how you gonna tell when the machine changes your vote?
Two words: paper ballots
Yeah...paper ballots...the bomb!
hey! so much to read here, will visit often :) good times!
Put a martini in there and I'll vote early, late and often.

I do live in Fla. Katie is still in the senate race. Fill it up, bartender.
I just noticed today that the ATM machine I use all the time is a Diebold. Man that bummed me out. Now I have to watch my money real close.
John, Sumo...don't suppose you'd settle for a paper receipt? "Britney Spears, I didn't vote for her!"

Glorydee, welcome.

PoP, for you...both vodka and gin!

SA, oh I could have some fun with that. Diebold machines that print new money on the spot? Payoff the national debt!
Yeah, the possibililties are pretty much endless. May be good for some weekend fun.
Can I drink irresponsibly if I vote responsibly? ;-) (Actually, I always vote on my way to work in the morning...which is generally a little early for a drink anyway.)
(Actually, I always vote on my way to work in the morning...which is generally a little early for a drink anyway.)

Me too, but...what...you don't like Bloody Mary's? You some kind of commie or something? Personally, I think that we're all gonna need a drink before we stare down Arnie's glowering presence on the ballot.
My ATMs are Diebold, too - and they manage a paper receipt just fine!
John, Sumo...don't suppose you'd settle for a paper receipt? "Britney Spears, I didn't vote for her!"

A paper receipt doesn't matter, if it's merely printing out the results of a hacked machine.

We'll need lots of eyes on the ball this year. . .
LOL. Killer punch line.
(Hic!)
Alicia, they're not only providing you with a paper recript, but they're probably printing the money!

John, no argument there. I'm hoping more counties in CA don't switch over to Diebold.

Libby, NBfH, thanks. Harris is more than enough reason for a drink in my book.

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