2006/09/04

Condi Brings You The News

New York (f-A-ke. P.) -

Competition in network news heats up as Katie Couric takes over at CBS tomorrow night. But ABC has decided to respond and announced this evening that on September 18th Condoleezza Rice, the former Secretary of State, will become the anchor of World News Tonight.

World News Tonight With Condi Rice

Judith Miller the new Director of Network News at ABC said, "We're delighted to have Condi on board and are confident that she'll kick Katie's ass the same way she kicked that Hezbollah leader's ass--Nasramen, Nasra--whatever his name is." When asked if her move to ABC was motivated by the perception that her star in the Republican party is falling, Ms. Rice replied, "Absolutely not. I simply want to work someplace where my mission is clear, and I want to emphasize that everything we'll do to CBS is completely legal. In other words, we'll be acting within our Constitutional authority when we make them cry like little children."

14 Comments:

Well she already has the wardrobe a news anchor...
If she wants people to take her seriously, I think she will need to something about her Helmet Hair.
why sept 18th? it has personal meaning to me & i'd hate to see a good day wrecked by finding an oil tanker spreading, ummm, news. depressing enough she's once again failing spectacularly, cuz that just means she's about to be bumped up. D.K.
Ha, ha and ha!
You know what is scary..her smile does have Katie qualities...yup I can;t call her what I usually call her- too rude for such a polite frogette...
Why does she have to resign her old job? Wouldn't that just be a two for one for the Bush Administration? Shouldn't all lead anchors also have Cabinate postions or something? I'm sure Bret Hume does. Almost positive.
Fashiongirl...in fact, I'd say that she's always looked like a news anchor. Maybe Fred's got it right and all cabinet members should be feeding us the news as well. The Snowjob does.

Snave, kinda '60s' huh?

D.K., sorry 'bout that, I needed a random Monday and that one just worked out.

E4E, I find her smile a little spooky, but then I have the same reaction to Katie Couric. Unfortunately, without cable, I'll miss the Kelly Pickler's first report.
I think she's more suited to replacin' that FaceLift on Entertainment Tonight.

It might be interesting to find out what Conid finds "entertaining"...
Hell, just looking at her makes a lot of us cry. I think she is better suited for FOX. But with the ABC showing of the film that makes 9-11 Clinton's fault, maybe she would be even better suited there.
Holy crapweasel! Did you read this morning's quote from Condi's weekend speechmaking? She says those who oppose this war are like those who wanted peace during the civil war - just have peace and go on holding slaves! I have been prickled by this all morning. The woman has gone over the edge. Wonder if Katie will bring that one up on the show.
Michael, naw...who wouldn't want her "take no prisoners attitude"? Maybe PoP is right though about her and Faux News. It was harder to find a good background though. ABC was just right on that count.

Peacechick..."Crapweasel!" :-) :-) :-) You've made my morning. But to your other point. She's got to be kidding. She's equating slavery with nation-building. The NAACP should come down on her like a nightmare. Bloody stupid!
Just an thought; shouldn't Condi deliver the news by singing and tickling the ivories?
i'm still wondering if you are serious or not!! NOT!!

actually she already has this job in the white house...just a parrot to the bush family anyways...
Pekka...that's an outstanding idea! I wish I'd had the time to do a paste-up of Condi in a ball gown (Connie Chung style) singing! :-)

AZGoddess... Well there is always a little truth in everything I post (the part about her star falling), and let's face it the Snowjob made the reverse transition. But no. If you see the "f-A-ke. P." then you pretty much know that it's coming from my twisted little imagination.

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