2006/08/18

Snakes! In My Mother-f*cking Bag

To address an imminent threat to air travel, TSA drafts new rules -

TSA Checks For Snakes

"Passengers will no longer be allowed to transport snakes in their carry-on luggage."

(UPDATED: Too many paste-ups have left me worn out creatively. Gonna take a little break today. Maybe go see you-know-what. Back with a contest this evening.)

23 Comments:

First water bottles and hair gel, now the snakes? What the F*ck?!!?
Tonight for dinner I had steaks on a plate.
And no wonderbras either. No makeup, no shampoo, no toothpaste. I'm thinking some religious abstinence only type zealot is making all these rules to punish all those painted hussies...
Well I had a look and I still don't know what!
Call me stupid. No don't do that it's catching.
But why is he screwed and... well one question at a time.
But I can understand the no bra bit.
I suggest we all just strip and fly naked. That way all you need to secure the flight is an oral cavity search.
Priss, next they'll be taking away our alligators and stinging insects. Libby...and maybe our stilletos and bustiers as well.

SA, haha! "Broiled in a flame?"

Cartledge...I can't explain you just sort have had to experience the over-the-top hype about this movie.

WS, maybe the snakes could help with that?
maybe if we taught the snake to protect us against terrorists
Uh...I'll take my flights without snakes thank you very much!
I thought frogs didn't like snakes, and would never carry snakes in their carry on luggage.
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ROFL!! Great one, Kvatch! "Passengers will no longer be allowed to transport snakes in their carry-on luggage." LOL!! The second part of the announcement follows naturally, then ...

"All snakes must be checked with your baggage at the ticket counter."
;-)
maybe, just maybe

this was the airlines doing

you know how they are always loosing your bags...and since you can't lock anything

stuff comes up missing

maybe - they are making things so crazy that you have to check your bags - especially if you want to bring your snakes

and then they will come up missing

hey - i bet they offer each airline employee an eBay account to sell our stuff...
Graeme, I think you and the AZGoddess are onto something here. The snakes are confiscated, trained to protect us against terrorists and put in TSA uniforms. Which leads one to the inevitable...

"Snakes in the mother-f*ckin' government."

Diva, Sumo, hell I don't know if I'm going to be able to fly after this, but if you think that I'm not going to see this piece-o-sh*t...think again.

NiP, thank you sir. That paste-up took way too long to do. Glad you enjoyed it.
I consider this to be profiling against the snake population. Snakes have never hijacked a plane or even got drunk and caused a plane to be rerouted. I'm calling the ACLU!
But what if they are Christian Snakes doing the work of some religous fanatic rattling and slithering....or is it only Islamic Snakes that are targeted- or sent to the Baggage Compartment...tsk, tsk...

Sothis is right...profiling....tsk, tsk.
Sothis, E4E...

"Snakes in a mother-f*cking lawsuit!"
Quick Takes (Zay N. Smith) - Chicago Sun Times has been running a month long continued column about takeoffs on Snakes on a Plane.

The commenter who said steaks on a plate was close but everything in QT rhymed.

Some people have far to much time on their hands but it was hilarious (as are most of his clips). I like QT very much.
The picture was of a coral snake as opposed to a king snake.

"Red on Yellow, kill a felllow.
Red on black, friend of Jack."

The last phrase is sometimes: "Venom lack."
Hey now.... how am I supposed to do my Christian snake handling cross country now??? That's it... I'm suing... this violates my religious freedoms.
Slither,Hiss &Venom , Esq. have been contacted on behalf of your clients.....and will be filing appropriate complaints.
Sign me up, SHV (or E4E). Having been born in '65, the Chinesiological Year of the Snake, I found this whole thing rather offensive.

Hahrumph!

(.. but still quitely hysterical!)
Looks like someone made a Brew in honor of SLJ's persona and are serving it at a SoaP marathon this weekend in Austin.

Niiice!
Great, minds, Kvatch, great minds.

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