2006/08/23

Minnesnowta vs. Texass

You know that old meme, "name four places you've lived"? Well in my adult life I've lived in four states, one for each point on the compass: Texas, Minnesota, Virginia, and California. Forget the last two though--they don't make for nearly as interesting a blog post--and just consider Texas and Minnesota, two states that I consider to be the antithesis of each other.


Minnesota is populated by conservative people with strangely liberal politics.
Texas is populated by libertarians with strangely conservative politics.

Minnesotans are quiet.
Texans are loud.

Minnesota is an eminently governable state that has really boring politics (Jesse 'The Body' Ventura aside)
Texas is an ungovernable mess with never a dull political moment.

Texas has bad roads, bad schools, and mild winters.
Minnesota has great roads, great schools, and winters from the 8th plane of hell!

Minnesotans really know how to spend their tax dollars (see 'good roads', 'good schools')
Texans have no tax dollars to spend (see 'bad roads', 'bad schools')

Texas politicians should not be allowed to run for President ('Shrub' and 'LBJ')
Whether or not a Minnesota politician runs for president is irrelevant ('HHH' and 'Mondale')

Minnesota has 10,000 lakes and a few kooks.
Texas has 10,000,000 kooks and a few lakes.

Canadians don't want to emigrate to Minnesota--it's just like home but with more bigotry.
Mexicans want to emigrate to Texas...by the millions--it's just like home but with more bigotry.

About the only you can say is similar about these two states is that everybody drinks a light brown, watery, caffeinated beverage. Minnesotans take it hot and call it 'coffee'. Texans take it cold and call it 'tea'.

Thanks s to The Local Crank for the inspiration.

23 Comments:

Hubert Humphrey - my favorite Minnesota politician. Just think how different our country would be today if he had beaten Nixon (who only won by a teeny-tiny difference).
Ya know, if it didn't snow over 6 months a year in MN, I might live there. I spent one summer in St. Paul (the forgotten twin) and loved it.
ust think how different our country would be today if he had beaten Nixon

Kathy, had HHH won...I think you're right in saying that things would have been different. They would have been much, much worse!

Consider: Nixon loses and fades from the scene. No Watergate, no outrage, thus no congressional curbs on executive power (i.e., no FISA). COINTELPRO happens but never gets thoroughly investigated. The FBI remains an unfettered organization of thugs. Ultimately, no Jimmy Carter to delay the Republican revolution and to give voice and teeth to the electorate's pique. Reagan is still elected but 4 years earlier and without those congressional curbs that I mentioned. Yup, I can imagine it, and I don't like it one bit.
This was a great read my friend! Bang! Whiz! Zing!

Never, until now, have I seen such a comparison between two such apposing states!

Nice...the coffee and tea bit was Hi-Larry-Us!
Ya know, if it didn't snow over 6 months a year in MN, I might live there. I spent one summer in St. Paul (the forgotten twin) and loved it.

WS, I've always said that if I'd ever decided to have kids, I'd want to raise them in Minnesota. But if you're starting a business? Do it in Texas.

TPM, glad you enjoyed it! Though I did this tongue in cheek, the observation is valid. You simply can't find two states that are opposite in so many ways.
We actually have terrific roads; in fact, we will pave virtually any cow path. In fact, our current governor is proposing to pave over a significant portion of the state for some abomination called the Trans Texas Corridor.
Texans are NOT libertarians by any stretch of the imagination.
LBJ was a great President destroyed by his obsession with a flawed war. Bush is a horrific President made even worse by his obsession with a flawed war.
People in the Panhandle would be astonished to learn we have "mild" winters.
Mexico is ASTONISHINGLY bigoted. Don't believe me? Ask los indios in Chiapas.
I've often wondered about if Humphrey had won. I loved the "Dump the Hump" campaign by McCarthy. But I think you laid it out pretty well. It might have lead to a less-befuddled, but still evil-empire-obsessed Reagan in '76 (he came too damn close to winning the nomination over Ford as it was) & pushed us into WWIII.

I liked your mirror state comparison. Don't forget no state income tax in Texas! I've also lived in 4 states (2 on opposite borders, CA & WA). Nothing's perfect, good & bad points just about everywhere. I might try a 5th in a few yrs, any suggestions (with little or no snow), or must I go to Australia? D.K.
Can't even get a Canadian to pop over the border for cheap gas...
"Consider: Nixon loses and fades from the scene. No Watergate, no outrage, thus no congressional curbs on executive power (i.e., no FISA). COINTELPRO happens but never gets thoroughly investigated. The FBI remains an unfettered organization of thugs. Ultimately, no Jimmy Carter to delay the Republican revolution and to give voice and teeth to the electorate's pique. Reagan is still elected but 4 years earlier and without those congressional curbs that I mentioned. Yup, I can imagine it, and I don't like it one bit."

Oh now that was GOOD! I love that alternate reality talk and it sounds just about right...or at least plausible.

So, we're going through the hell of the present for the good of the future, right? HA!HA!

Good entry Kvatch.
LBJ was a great President destroyed by his obsession with a flawed war. Bush is a horrific President made even worse by his obsession with a flawed war.
People in the Panhandle would be astonished to learn we have "mild" winters.


Oh LC, you're so not into the spirit of this. ;-). OK, I could answer all of these, but I'll limit myself to two.

LBJ was a gifted Senator but a lousy President. The exact stubborness that served him so well as Majority Leader hindered him as President. And all the civil rights advances--the war on poverty--could not obscure the fact that history was moving with or without LBJ. In a "only Nixon could go to China moment" LBJ decided to move with history rather than against it.

As for the Panhandle...I've lived in Lubbock sir, and I can tell you with certainty that the words, "Well ya' know, it's 50 below with the wind chill, there..." have never been uttered in the Texas panhandle.

:-) :-) :-)
D.K., Chuck, thanks!

Don't get me wrong Minnesota is a wonderful place. Salt-o-the-earth people, and all of the other advantages I mentioned. The winter's are hard on adults, but not on kids, who love it.

Texas also has many things that I like. I went to school in Austin and love that city. El Paso, my hometown is also a sentimental favorite. Big Bend National Park, the tamale ladies of San Antonio, but let me be clear...not having an income tax is *NOT* an advantage.
"And all the civil rights advances--the war on poverty--could not obscure the fact that history was moving with or without LBJ. In a "only Nixon could go to China moment" LBJ decided to move with history rather than against it."

I have absolutely no idea what you mean by this. Are you saying the Civil Rights Act and the War on Poverty would've happened WITHOUT Johnson? Are you serious? Do you how narrowly both those proposals passed? Or how much (literal) arm twisting LBJ had to apply? Senator Strom Thurmond actually physically tackled Sen. Ralph Yaborough of Texas to try to keep him from voting for the Civil Rights Act.
I respectfully submit that you are falling for the Robert Caro Syndrome, allowing Johnson's flaws (and they were many) completely obscure his many accomplishments.
Say what you want about LBJ, but the man knew how to wear pants.
Are you forgetting how he handled his dogs? Now that was some fancy ear action.
Since I'm in Florida, I probably should keep my mouth shut when it comes to comparing any states.
Texas has bad roads, bad schools, and mild winters.
Minnesota has great roads, great schools, and winters from the 8th plane of hell!


Kvatch, are you saying that Hell has frozen over?
LC, I'm sorry that I seem to have offended you. This was intended to be a humor piece. No I don't believe that civil rights legislation would have failed utterly without Johnson. It would have happened no matter what--maybe not in 64-66, but soon thereafter, and LBJ was not a natural supporter of civil rights, but...he was the ultimate pragmatist...which is maybe what Richie was referring to. :-)

PoP, if I was to compare Florida to state it would have to be a small Northeastern state like Vermont or New Hampshire...greatest number of comparisons.

Lukku, I just remember from my old role gaming days that the "8th plane of hell" was the frozen plane. Not sure where it comes from. Mythology? Dante? Not sure.
I'm not offended; hell, I'm used to insults from you damyankees by now. I think, however, that you are seriously underestimating the opposition to the Civil Rights Act. Without LBJ (and maybe without JFK's death) it would NOT have passed "soon thereafter." In fact, it very likely might not have passed at all. But this would make up a whole 'nother thread by itself.
I'm used to insults from you damyankees by now.

HARRRUMMMMPHHH!

Politics, accent, and outlook aside...no one is more Southun' than me, sah! From the age of...well... 0, I have lived in: Mississippi, Florida, Lubbock Texas, El Paso Texas, Austin Texas, (Minnesota...yea I know...), and the Old Dominion before settling in California.

If I had a glove (and you were in front of me), I'd slap you with it! I challenge you to a duel! Limericks at 10 paces! :-)
Great post. I enjoyed it.
I offer heartfelt apologies for ever doubting your genetic commitment to grits, NASCAR and General Lee.
I offer heartfelt apologies for ever doubting your genetic commitment to grits, NASCAR and General Lee.

Apology accepted. Let's go out and have a Pearl or maybe a Lone Star. On second thought...let's not!
Hey, I'm a Texas lawyer--it's bourbon and branch water, though of course firewater does not mix well with my people...

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