Future Headlines - TSA FREAKS OUT!
Responding to the new terror alert level, established when a plot to bomb US bound airliners was discovered in the UK earlier today, the Transportation Safety Administration issued new guidelines for passengers traveling in the US -
- All passengers will be required to pass through TSA screening naked. Though travelers will be issued paper hospital gowns prior to boarding their flights, TSA officials feel that this is the only way to catch really determined terrorists.
- To prevent terrorists from ingesting explosive substances, all passengers will be required to throw up prior to boarding their aircraft.
- Passengers that are part of TSA's Registered Traveler program will be required to shave all of their body hair in order to maintain their status.
- And finally, no reading material will be allowed to pass through TSA screening. Though passengers concerned about boredom will be glad to know that TSA has thoughtfully decided to place copies of the Congressional Register on board all domestic aircraft.
(I just knew that I wouldn't get away from this topic today. Ah well...)
LOVE the photo...and the pre-flight-purge- too funny....TSA should hire you...oh wait- that would mean they were thinking...can't have that...( I am suprised that this fellow was allowed to keep his slippers)...
yup...welcome to the Friendly Skies...
I can't take it anymore.
Does Greyhound go to Paris?
Prove it?! For Christ's sake! What are they gonna ask 'em to do? Lactate on the spot?!
FG, wait until they tell you you're not allowed to wear deoderant it confuses the bomb sniffers.
Does Greyhound go to Paris?
How about just a train?
Also, I'm wondering if they can be made from explosive materials?
Might just have to forgo the coverup.
D.K., I don't want to hear about your foul orifices, but I'm sure TSA will be interested.
Fred my man, you've anticipated me. The naked thing is all part of a greater plot.
Olbermann was ON FIRE tonight. Thank goodness for calm heads & skepticism. More later...
"Next! Sir, please bend over a little further...... mmmhmmm... Ok. Next!"
The bad news is we can't take Purell on the plane.
Hey, at least you tried, Froggy. Hilarious.
CLEARLY this plot is part of The Gay Agenda.
Seat covers? I'd hope for "seat condoms"!
E4E, while I was looking for images to mash, I found one for "Naked Airlines". How cool is that?
JuBlue, bird flu, explosive baby formula, cavity searches...the fun never ends.
Sumo, maybe there's plumbing problem on board the aircraft and his tools are in the rolley bag.
Sue, hey those Purell bottles might have bad, bad stuff in 'em and the wipes...don't get me started.
PT, thanks, but E4E deserves the credit for supplying the theme.
Diva, I think that there's a deeper agenda, but that's for a different post.
Your plan is so brilliant, I think you should take it one step further. Let's make all people go around naked at all times, with nothing more then a hospital gown. It's the only way to be sure these days. Winters in some parts of the world will be a drag, but summers will actually be nicer naked and all safe and stuff.