2006/08/25

Do Not Try This At Your Airport

What is in about male enhancement devices these days? It's as if Austin Powers put the damn things into our consciousness, and now we can't get them out.

I mean...a judge gets 4 years in the clink for using one behind the bench (EEEEEEUUUYYYY!). And so, when TSA finds one in your luggage, do not, Do Not, DO NOT say what this poor schmuck said. "It's a bomb."

15 Comments:

I thought you were making that "bomb" part up. What a freaking idiot. He should have said, it's a bicycle pump. Good lord, why am I trying to advise this dope?

I got the big shake down at the airport yesterday. They were certain they detected mascara in my luggage in the x-ray machine. I was finally released after they spent ages trying to determine if in fact I was attempting to smuggle mascara across state lines.

This stuff is getting too weird.

What is up with all the penis pumps lately? Just how do they work? If I were a guy I would try one myself. They seem swell.
I believe the poor guy said "pump." Why on earth would he say "bomb"? Makes no sense. "Pump" makes sense. But, you know, those TSA screeners are so smart and on the ball....

I get offers for these sorts of things in my email every day. What's up with that? I don't even HAVE man parts. Really.
Karena, maybe it's time we created a 'Strategic Mascera Reserve' just so they have a place to put it all. Women (and men from my neck-o-the-woods) could make withdrawals when needed.

JuBlue, no doubt the Frogette would agree with you--Offers for all sorts of male-centric nonsnese, but really demographics don't mean...dare I say it...dick when you're talking about spamming 20M emails.
Idots. All around, we are surrounded by idiots. Why would you need to carry this thing on? Put it in your stowed baggage if you have to have one with you on your adventures.
When my husband asked me the other day what these things look like (like I would know), I winged it. Now I can refer him here, so thanks! Yeah, I know I could've googled it, but I'm tired of all the search-specific spam we get. Don't worry, I won't ask you exactly HOW they operate, kvatch.

If I saw this sitting on a wal-mart shelf, bicycle pump would be my first thought, karena. At the doctor's, I'd be thinking blood pressure monitor. Oxygen supply at the old folks home. Nighttime humidifier in the nursery. Actually it looks remarkably like my sister's asthma treatment device. Perhaps the TSA guys were just making conversation with this idiot. There were so many ways this doofus could've gone, but then what if they asked him to demonstrate? D.K.
By chance, did this traveler have bad teeth, a British accent, a purple velvet suit, thick glasses, and claim to be an "International Man of Mystery?"

"Swedish Penis Enlargers aren't my bag. That's a bomb, baby, yeah!"
WS, D.K., I somehow think that the guy could have come up something...anything to cover. Cause now he's going to be placed on some kind of "pump watch list".

Rex, I didn't see a picture of the gent, but you're probably right. Maybe it was a publicity stunt for the next Austin Powers film?
If there were truly a successful way to enlarge the penis, it would be all over like viagra, as any man who doesn't feel inadequate probably is.
A bomb? My god, anything but that. Maybe they were thinking really hard to not say bomb and then oops
Looking at the thing, I still can't figure out how it works.

Just goes to show how insecure some men are about their man parts. The guy with the pump would rather risk being rendered to Uzbekistan than admit he used a penis pump to inflate his...ego.
I read that he was desperate that his mother (nearby in line) not catch wind of this thing...so he said 'bomb' rather than have her hear 'penis pump' and further inquire into the said pump. I feel sorry for this guy...just the same. Oh...and...the penis is placed within the cylinder portion of the pump...and the little ball at the end is for squeezing the bejeezus out of it...thus causing the penis to be drawn into the cylinder farther...thus causing elongation of the penis...and or pleasure...thereby culminating in hopeful orgasm of biblical proportions. Gawd...how I love porn!

Just kidding! No offence I hope...I love a good laff...yes sir...I do!
the guy was traveling with his mom....and THIS????
WHAT THE?
and why couldn't and didn't he put it with his baggage- checked baggage?

hmm...definently a few fries short on his happy meal....
Abi...Sumo has thoughtfully provided you with your answer. ;-)

Sumo, that last bit sounds like it's straight out of the spam emails I get on the subject. :-) Hey Ron, do ya think that men all over the planet are rushing out in droves?

Graeme, think maybe he was trying to be funny? And E4E. I'm with you, checked luggage for sure.
It may sound like it does from the porn spams...but I assure you I made it sound palatable...not titillating. I don't think anyone of the guys wanted to run out and quickly buy one...I've never done sales before. Maybe I have a new calling...hmmmm.
Kvatch, I saw this today on Salon and thought of you:

http://www.salon.com/ent/video_dog/ads/2006/08/29/stroker/index.html

Here's it linked

Can you imagine trying to travel with THIS one? ;-)

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