2006/06/02

The Snowjob Really Warms To His Task

Washington (f-A-ke. P.) -

In today's White House press briefing, Secretary Snow addressed the plagues of locusts invading the traditionally liberal state of New York -
Q: Tony, does the President intend to declare New York a disaster area so that they can apply for Federal assistance?

MR. SNOW: The President feels he has a responsibility to the whole nation on this issue--wants to make sure that his message is that of a compassionate conservative who'll help the state without offending parts of the nation that think that New York may have deserved this.

Q: Are you saying that the President believes that New York deserves a plague of biblical proportions?

MR. SNOW: Not at all. Let's just say that the President feels that maybe there wouldn't be a problem if liberal states like New York weren't so opposed to the use of pesticides.

9 Comments:

Great job Tony! Sell that message: Divide and destroy.
I thiunk someone should liberally spray some pesticides in Tony's Coke. Play us some flute, TOny!
Guys, guys...come on. Mr. Snowjob is a delight! He's way more fun than Scotty McMessage. I'm sure that Windspike will back me up on this one.

I'm still trying to work out just the right cadence for these posts.
If you ask me, New York's way overdue for a little smiting. I mean, we here in Florida have elected a Bush 5 times, and what do we get for our eternal patriotism? Hurricanes, alligator attacks, and the continued employ of Senator Bill Nelson!
Great story - actually, the dialogue in the interview is quite believable!
Locusts? I'm waiting for the fucking frogs! They are the worst. No, wait...the boils; they're the worst. Then the frogs. Present company excluded, of course.

If only we had some cool "landmarks and icons," then we could get some more of that sweet Homeland Security money and we could use it to stave off the plagues to come...
Ain't that the truth, Rex! Looks like we might land the GOP convention too. Give me an alligator convention any day.
You had me for a minute frog until I say the "fake P"...

It sounds too true to be fake...are you sure you made it up?

I thought upstate New York was Red? Perhaps they should consider forming their own state so they can actually get terror funding an disaster relief.
RB, them's fighting words! :-)

Betty and Rex, Florida is way too close to voting for Democrats to avoid a little smiting. As for New York, PoliS is right the upstate is awfully red, but I'm sure that plagues of locusts are only attacking NYC.

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