2006/06/09

Future Headlines - The Execujudeative Branch

Washington (f-A-ke. P.) -

Today the Bush administration formally dissolved the Judicial and Legislative branches of government in favor of a new super branch to be known as the Execujudeative. When asked why he was taking this extraordinary step, the President replied, "Well David Addington's right hand is gettin' mighty tired from all those signing statements, and so I just decided that this would be easier."

Reactions from congressional leaders were mixed. Representative Nancy Pelosi (D CA), when asked for her opinion replied, "The f*ck he say!?" But Senator Majority Leader Frist immediately introduced legislation mandating that all contributions to Republican candidates immediately be returned to their donors and that all contributions to Democratic candidates will be used to fund another round of tax cuts. Speaker of the House Hastert praised the new legislation as a "bounty" for the American taxpayer.

At the Supreme Court the response was likewise varied. Chief Justice Roberts was quoted as saying, "But...but...but, I just got here!" Whereas Associate Justice Antonin Scalia responded, "Should'a done that about 6 years ago! Little prick could'a saved me a lot of trouble."

16 Comments:

Just like an American to mangle the language some more. Webster taught you all the wrong things -sigh-
If I was to go down the Uncle Joe - Adolph track, I think I would prefer something more like Pollitcon
Kvatch, you win the government naming contest. Tell it like it is bro!
Judeo whaaa???
Cartledge, I was German they'd be applauding. Conservation of words you know.

WS: Thanks, but I'm open to other suggestions. How about a single brach called "Signing Statements 'R Us", just for the Robot Buddha?
That Pelosi's got such a potty-mouth.
You gotta stop with this fake news shit...it's too damn real and has a real possibility of coming true.

If these things start happening people are going to think you are Frogtrodomus
Execujudeative Branch, isn't that what the Republicans are running on this year?
Hhhmmm... Sounds like a Zionist plot to me.

What's Pat Robertson's reaction to this news?

Oh, nevermind. He's probably all for it since it'll undoubtedly expedite the RaptureĀ®.
PoliS, my philosophy is: Just outrageous enough to sound silly, just plausible enough to get you worried.

Lew...I think they run on this every year.

Michael, Robertson will probably make it a platform plank in another run for the Presidency.
I'd be laughing if it weren't so damn true.

'Congressmen praised the act because it gives them more time for fund raising and bribe taking.'
Very funny!

I just saw Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith (the last prequel) and it sounds an awful lot like what happened there - when the head guy (I think his name was Paddington) assumes emergency powers and then starts consolidating all the power - so that he's it. Hard to tell fiction vs. real life these days.
I think his name was Paddington

Elsa...that's "Palpatine", as in Senator Palpatine. :-) Looks something like this right?
Oh yeah - how could I have fogotten!!?? I'm terrible with remember character names in movies. Thanks for setting me straight :-)
A few years ago this would seem far fetched
That was along time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away Graeme...
graeme,
What farfetchedness doesn't kill ya only makes you more farfetched!

:>)

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