Ban Gay Marriage? How About Banning Gay Uniforms

While Senate Majority Frist whips up the Republican base with the old gay marriage warhorse, a far more pernicious scourge lurks within our borders. Our military, the very defenders of our nation, are afflicted by the disease of gay uniforms.

Just look at these pictures and tell me you don't agree. These uniforms that could grace the cover of International Male fer Christ's sake!

When President Bush speaks to the nation on Monday night, he shouldn't push for a ban on gay marriage, he should push for a ban on gay uniforms! Or at the very least a "don't ask, don't tell policy" on the fruity duds our troops are wearing this season.

Thanks to The Station Agent for the inspiration.


so true. The same goes for the religious uniforms. everytime the christians, muslims and jews get together to say that they hate gays, they always dress like they are heading to a pride march
It's the white gloves. And all the buttons. And the sashes.
Baron...and how about those tight white pants? The dude in the blue's got J-Lo booty from those trousers he's wearing.

Graeme, no argument here. A cassock is so gay and stylishly black or grey. Fit in right here in Sodom by the Sea.
Yikes. The kid on the bottom looks like he should be marching in the high school band. The other guy looks like he's in a tribute band to the Village People.
I tell ya, from a soldiers perspective, there nothing gayer than that silly little beret they make us wear...
I surprises me that you would even recognise such a correlation.
He isn't gay, by the way, that's his boyfiend who is gay.
Fred, "gayer"? Are you sure you didn't mean "Frencher"?

Libby..."Village People"! I like it. He does look sort of macho.

Cartledge, I think the whole disgusting thing has to do with government supression of gays in the military--just when you think you've got it under wraps, it pops out in the clothing.
Never had a thing for a man in uniform, guess I know why now.
Constitutional Amendment to ban gay unis must become part of the Democratic Party platform. Even Gays would support this. This is flaming by gay standards.
Sumo, but if we could get a famous designer...say Georgio Armani...to design the uniforms? How about then?

SA, that's a good idea. Think I'll need bring that up with my Senators.
Psst. Armani's gay. The uniforms should be updated by a "manly" and "undoubtedly straight" male American designer.

Hmm. Lemme think.

Tom Ford? Gay.
Michael Kors? Gay.
Isaac Mizrahi? G-g-g-gay.

I got it. Tommy Hilfiger.
Ha, this reminded me of an episode of Queer Eye in which Carson, looking at Marine Corps Dress Blues, said something like, "And they say no gays in the military. SOMEBODY designed that uniform."
Mags, Armani's gay? Who knew? ;-) Though, I have to say that I like the Tommy Hilfinger idea. Imagine...how patriotic!

JuBlu, no truer words.
Hmmm you are so right....truly Village People would be proud to dance next to these fashions...
Homophobic organizations causing their armed guards to wear silly costumes may be an international phenomenon. Have you ever seen what the poor bastards who guard the Pope have to wear?

Their multi-colored striped uniforms feature poofy sleeves and pantaloons and plumed hats. The Swiss Guard uniforms make the yellow sashes, white pants and brass buttons our guys have to wear seem positively macho by comparison.
Jeff Gannon and Mike Golic should be locked in a rooom and made to create the new uniforms.

Whichever one gets out alive, ie, proves to be the Real Straight Guy, gets the job.

Golic'll win, of course, then assign the gig to his partner, Mike Greenburg.
Betty, true those uniforms are over the top but everything is left to the imagination, and that's no fun.

E4E, "I'd like to be...an ar-my man!"

Michael...only if it's a cage match!
LOL to Jublu's comment. I love that show.

The uniforms are "pretty" ;)
Man, this is the funniest thing I read all day! Trully did laugh out loud...
PoP, I agree you just can't go wrong with sashes, braid, and buttons...lots and lots of buttons.

Denisdekat, thanks! Glad you enjoyed it.
I had this linked through another...Complete with kudos...Once I saw the orig source, I brought the link to where it belongs.

Nice job Kvetch!
Thanks Gary. It's much appreciated.
And Now...I must apologize for Kvetch...I meant Kvatch! (I am such a putz sometimes)!
I had to revisit this charming piece. I've just realised, not only are they gay, they now put the sado into s&m. Well the Pentagon seems to, anyway.
Gary, no need to apologize "Kvetch" (Yiddish) and "Kvatch" (Austrian Gernam) mean almost the same thing. :-)

Cartledge, I think that they also put the "M" into S&M. I mean really...what is Iraq if not an exercise in masochism?

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