2006/06/27

66 to 34 - Flag Desecration Defeated Once Again

The Congress shall have power to prohibit the physical desecration of the flag of the United States...except for burning it in the following circumstances:
  • To provide light so that your children can still read their bibles when the electricity goes out
  • To heat your double-wide when propane becomes too expensive to purchase
  • To provide kindling for the bonfires that will be needed for former President Clinton's biography


Updated - 2006/06/28, 10:15a

Mr_Blog with an exclusive: Old Glory Responds

21 Comments:

Ya know? I usued to have a pair of American Flad running shorts...and I can't remember the number of times I was in a race where I desecrated, not only the flag, but myslef because I was running my guts out...but would some one refuse me the right to wear my American Flag shorts? And why would they do that?

This whole charade is just another example of what a twisted set of values the Republican Party has - what about homelessness in America? What about Homeless Iraqi War Vets?
don't ferget makin' 'mergincy torches to keep dem liberals away at night

not too sure wot da fuss is aboot, no other country (far as I know) has any flag burnin' laws (well there IS the Irish Flag/Union Jack thing in Northern Ireland, but that's kinda different)

I jest wear me Canadian flag shorts, eh, and so far no one's set me arse on fire...
I can't believe this vote was that close. I would not have expected that there would have been 66 votes to amend the Constitution for this, but obviously I'm naive. We should never amend the Constitution to take away civil liberties and freedoms.
But are you allowed to evacuate excess body fluids onto it?
How about hiding your vile political positions by draping yourself in it?
WS, American Flag running shorts? Only if you're running through a war zone.

Callooh, I like the idea of torches for the raiding parties, and Cartledge...no. Well...unless it's part of what Lew was talking about, draping yourself in it.

Elsa, yeah I know. One more vote and then on to the states.
Uh, there were some last minute amendments that cost that crucial vote:

To burn your Dixie Chicks CDs.
For kindling to burn witches.
To light flaming crosses.
For a flame to hold your hand over, in order to prove your stoicism (G. Gordon Liddy only).
I don't know Mr_blog... How could anyone really object to the burning of witches? And as for that last one, not only your stoicism but your patriotism.
The real reason the amendment didn't pass is because they FORGOT to include THESE exception clauses:

1.) Except in the case when the flag is used in advertising flyers on President's Day, Memorial Day, July 4th, Veteran's Day and (insert important commercial celebration here) and they blow all over town and wind up crumpled in mud puddles.

2.) Except when faded from the sun, tattered by 75-mph wind and covered with road dust while attached to the aerial of an SUV, pickup truck or other all-American vehicle. (Vehicle does not have to be made in America.) Exception does not apply to flags on Toyota Priuses, Geo Metros or other makes of car deemed insufficiently American by acts of Congress.

3.) Except when Republicans politicians are wrapping themselves in it.

4.) Burning the flag is permitted if Democrats are wrapped in it.

5.) Except if there are no other suitable materials near the abortion clinic with which to support combustion.

I think I forgot a few. I'm sure others among you remember them...
If you are brown skinned and/or muslim you can't even have thoughts of burning old glory!

If you even scowl toward America's old symbol of freedom and bravery you will be stoned to death! (It's in the bible, forget the chapter and verse, but I'm sure Falwell or any number of sycophangelists could point you in the right direction!)
I object to the burning of witches!

sheesh! haven't gotten over that last torching....
Next to Clinton's biography, you might want to consider adding the New York Times.
Obvious case for SCOTUS had the amendment passed:

If Jessica Alba were a witch, could you burn her if she were wearing an American flag bikini?
A very curious issue, this, with all this talk of burning.
An outsider gets the distinct impression that, at heart, the average American is a pyromaniac.
While we hard working foreigner burn the candle at both ends, Americans it would seem, want to burn anything they can get their hands on.
Mind you, I am often reminded that the proto-Canadians once managed to st fire to the White House, so perhaps it is a continental aberration.
Bukko...welcome. "Anti-scowling," huh? I like it!

Callooh, well I personally would never burn a witch. Unless, of course, she turned me into a newt.

Kathy, lot of flags you're gonna need there to burn the NYT.

Mr_Blog, like Old Glory's response and linked it.

Mr Cartledge...sir? You can't achieve the stunning level of American productivity without burning the candle in one great conflagration. We don't say, "Burn baby, burn!" for nothing.
Will it fuel an suv?
Laugh. Cry. Laugh. Cry. Repeat ad nauseam.
PoP...you betcha! Better than bio-diesel.

Tom, I know, but it was close, real close, this time, and although I don't believe that many Constitutional amendments would make it by the states, flag desecration is one that might.
I think we're up to FOUR whole burnings. That's what the fuss was about. FOUR flag burnings. Obviously, Americans aren't as keen on burning old glory as the rethuglicans would have you believe.

And I'm sure not one of those yahoos knows they are desecrating the flag against the flag etiquette most of the time. Indeed, what about putting it on your SUV and letting it get tattered, dirty & faded? Sheeesh. I even saw one Lincoln Navigator with a flag that sported the skyline of NYC w/the Towers on it. Is that not desecration? I saw a reclining slutty girl on the mudflaps of a semi done in "flag." So tasteful, these patriots.
cartledge -
yeah - didn't ya know?

pyromania is a national past time.

let's all burn flags in bonfires on the 4th!

hurrah!
you'd get better....

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