2006/05/01

Real Americans Don't Mind Being Whores

After the sharp, and oddly bi-partisan, reaction to generous Republican efforts to put $100.00 dollars back in our wallets, the G.O.P. leadership came out swinging Monday morning.

In response to a constituent's question, "Do you think we are prostitutes? Do you think you can buy us?" House Speaker, Dennis Hastert's office issued a statement that read:
Real Americans don't mind being whores when it's their government that's doing the pimping.
And Eric Ueland, chief of staff to Senator Bill Frist (R. TN), whose office played a main role in pulling the proposal together, said that people should just shut their big yappers and head to Wal-Mart for the jumbo pack of Ho-Ho's. "...I mean, count your blessings. We could just take the money and use it to fund retiring ExxonMobil CEO, Lee Raymond's pension."

Here at Blognonymous, we couldn't agree more.

15 Comments:

A $100 for my vote...er..gas rebate. I'll take it! As long as there aren't any cameras in the voting booth tomorrow, it'll be all good.
How cynical can those guys get...

"Let's give 'em a hundred bucks, but only if the Democrats agree to let us drill the ANWR!"

"Heh heh, that'll be great! The Democrats will never let it happen because of the ANWR rider, so then we can go around telling everyone that Democrats don't want to help people who are suffering because of high gasoline prices! Good one!"

"It will give our congressional candidates a good response for when Democrats try to accuse us of being to blame for the high gas prices."

"Yeah, never mind that such a response doesn't really have anything to do with anything. Getting the voters mad at the Democrats is what we want to accomplish, so that way they'll overlook more of what goes on at the White House."

"Yeah! And don't you think it's a good thing Karl now has more time to be out of the White House stirring up trouble? He ought to have a good time running with this one."

"I dunno why the president was keeping Karl cooped up. We'll do much better now that Bush has let him out to run loose in the streets."

I could go on and on, but it would take up too much time and space in this comments section.
Kvatch....NOOOOOOOOOO? Have you been watching the Colbert Report again?
The combination of Rex Kramer and The Colbert REport is known to make froggy types dangerously unstable, politically speaking. Cuidado, hombre!!! Quick, can somebody do an intervention??
Oh Glenda, you're sweet to be concerned. But rest assured America-loving at this level requires so few brain cells (one actually has to turn them off to accomplish it), that it's perfect for my little frog conciousness.

But who knows what we might be able to accomplish with that magic wand of yours. ;-)
Gratis...no cameras in the voting booth, just a Diebold WonderVote 2008, and a little thank-you note from Senator Frist.
These whores you're talking about have nothing to do with the Randy "Duke" Cunningham scandal, right? I'm happy to take the hundred bucks, but I don't want no stinking subpoena!
I love the new format, although I'm not sure the world is ready for another "danger-seeking" blogger.

Regarding that $100 rebate, tell Frist I'm a high class hooker (like the ones his buddies been smuggling into the Watergate) and I can't be bought for such a paltry sum.
ahhhh, love the template change, Rex is our own little festering Colbert
R-bE, doesn't our wonderful Presiden't favorite book, The Holy Bible, have some advice for us patriotic Americans on the subject of whoring--I'm thinking here of the giving of daughters to visitors. Just think if your self as the daughter, Congress as the befeficent father, and ChevronTexaco as the visiting stranger. Now...don't you feel better?

Kathy, I don't plan to be another Danger Seeker. I plan to "take my father's place at the Emperors side..."! Mwahahahahaha!

Fred, patriotic, huh? My heart is swelling even as I write this.
You are so bad, it's good. I had a good laugh at this, so sad it carries so much truth...
kvatch, now that you bring up thos epassages from the Good Book, I do feel better about the whole thing. I think.
Denisdekat, R-bE just stay tuned...there is some much more America-loving commentary in the works. Rex is gonna wish he'd never started this. I'm the East Germany of patriotic bloggers. (East Germans used to say, "aren't we better communists than the Russians?)
My comment on this originally on Saturday was roughly,

"Hey Mr. politician, unlike you, my vote is not for sale."

Then, I read today that Limbaugh said roughly the same thing.

That's right, I'm accusing you of sharing views with Limbaugh.

Mike
Cannot wait to see what you have up your sleeve. Do you have a sleeve...being a frog and all?
They're not $ 100 whores. Republicans are at LEAST $ 1,000 whores.

Add a comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link