Real Americans Don't Mind Being Whores
In response to a constituent's question, "Do you think we are prostitutes? Do you think you can buy us?" House Speaker, Dennis Hastert's office issued a statement that read:
Real Americans don't mind being whores when it's their government that's doing the pimping.And Eric Ueland, chief of staff to Senator Bill Frist (R. TN), whose office played a main role in pulling the proposal together, said that people should just shut their big yappers and head to Wal-Mart for the jumbo pack of Ho-Ho's. "...I mean, count your blessings. We could just take the money and use it to fund retiring ExxonMobil CEO, Lee Raymond's pension."
Here at Blognonymous, we couldn't agree more.
"Let's give 'em a hundred bucks, but only if the Democrats agree to let us drill the ANWR!"
"Heh heh, that'll be great! The Democrats will never let it happen because of the ANWR rider, so then we can go around telling everyone that Democrats don't want to help people who are suffering because of high gasoline prices! Good one!"
"It will give our congressional candidates a good response for when Democrats try to accuse us of being to blame for the high gas prices."
"Yeah, never mind that such a response doesn't really have anything to do with anything. Getting the voters mad at the Democrats is what we want to accomplish, so that way they'll overlook more of what goes on at the White House."
"Yeah! And don't you think it's a good thing Karl now has more time to be out of the White House stirring up trouble? He ought to have a good time running with this one."
"I dunno why the president was keeping Karl cooped up. We'll do much better now that Bush has let him out to run loose in the streets."
I could go on and on, but it would take up too much time and space in this comments section.
The combination of Rex Kramer and The Colbert REport is known to make froggy types dangerously unstable, politically speaking. Cuidado, hombre!!! Quick, can somebody do an intervention??
But who knows what we might be able to accomplish with that magic wand of yours. ;-)
Regarding that $100 rebate, tell Frist I'm a high class hooker (like the ones his buddies been smuggling into the Watergate) and I can't be bought for such a paltry sum.
Kathy, I don't plan to be another Danger Seeker. I plan to "take my father's place at the Emperors side..."! Mwahahahahaha!
Fred, patriotic, huh? My heart is swelling even as I write this.
"Hey Mr. politician, unlike you, my vote is not for sale."
Then, I read today that Limbaugh said roughly the same thing.
That's right, I'm accusing you of sharing views with Limbaugh.