2006/04/19

Scott McCellan's Gone - Who Should Replace Him?

Josh Bolten undertakes The Great Rearranging of the Deck Chairs and Scott McCellan is sent packing back to Jesusland. So Blognonymous asks: Who's your fantasy pick for Scott's replacement?

For this frog it's got to be either Ed McMahon -
Heeeerrrrrreeeeeee's...Georgie!

...or the ubiquitous voice-over guy from PBS (you'll never see him at the mike, he'll just talk) -
The Kowboy Koward emerges slowly from his ranch in Krawford hoping the evil terrorists haven't destroyed his beloved country...


Thanks to Windspike at the Educational Whisper for getting the ball rolling on this one.

35 Comments:

I saw this somewhere else, but thought of it before I saw it ... Baghdad Bob.

"No, this rumors is all not true. No investigations of anyone are anywhere close to this White House. We have driven them all out and killed them and dragged their corpses through Northwest D.C. behind the Vice President limo who has also shot them in the face. There are no resignations here. Now go away."
David Chapelle. I think he'd bring a fresh new style to the whole thing.
Heather Locklear. I don't know what her politics are and I DON'T CARE!
I think Bush should got tits up and nominate Rush Limbaugh

The Short-Long list:

Bill Oreilly
Rush Limbaugh
Sean Hannity
Ann Coulter
Michelle Malkin
Michael Savage
Brit Hume
Tony Snow
Ari Fleischer (again, he was smooth..)

and last but not least...

JOE LIEBERMAN!!

GOOOO JOE!
I came across Fox News anchor Tony Snow somewhere. I note the name above.
Don't know the guy from a bar of soap (perhaps a bad analogy there) but he is clearly a Murdoch man. Now that's what the US really needs, Rupert Murdoch with a foot in the White House door.
I'm pushing Teller from Penn & Teller. He could just stand at the podium and look at the press corp.
If they were smart they'd bring in somebody with the Bill Clinton charm and turn them a little loose and lighten the mood in the room. Somebody who could do tongue in cheek with the press corp who could remind them that they're all playing this game. Somebody far smarter than McClellan.

But, I don't think that's what they're going to do. I think they're going to get another talking points stone wall. Jesus, they might as well get that singing fish that was such a popular kitsch gift a couple years ago.

Mike
somebody with the Bill Clinton charm and turn them a little loose and lighten the mood in the room. Somebody who could do tongue in cheek with the press corp who could remind them that they're all playing this game.

Mike, I've got it! Steve Jobs
Porky Pig would be a good choice. He looks enough like Scottie not to shock the media and since we know he would have to lie and no one can understand what he says anyway...well shoot, we could just skip the briefing all together. It's useless anyway.
Cheech Marin. You gotta be high to do that job.
If Jobse does get the post Bush will LOSE him.
That's "Jobs"...

Drat!
Hey thanks for the mention Kvatch. I read an article on Yahoo stipulating it could be Tony Snow. If you search my blog a bit using his name, you will find that the W, Rove and Co should be all over him like flies on cow patties - He pitches more slime than anyone and he was only on the Fox payroll at the time. Imagine what he could come up with if he was on the taxpayer dime? Fuck.

Btw, you could also see Trent Dufty step up, but he is as dry as paste in a five year old's school locker.

Really, the answer is who the fuck cares, because the job is really meaningless as the W, Rove and Co has spun it.

If the press pool reporters had any balls they would step up and walk out every time they didn't get an answer to their questions, but the reality is that they are as hooked on the junk the W, Rove and Co feeds them as the rest of us....but some of us are a bit more critical of the daily spew than the rest.

Blog on all, blog on.
Oh, and I do a double vote for Heather Locklear - or maybe Angelina Jolie (as perhaps Neil Shakespeare would have us look at on a regular basis). But again, more than likely, they are going to pick some pastey white guy with folds under his chin so that they don't sex it up too much - remember, abstinence is their first line of defense for many things...so, what better way to stop people from caring about what the press secretary is saying than pick some one exactly like Scotty boy?
I think it has to be Jon Lovitz. Or Joe Isuzu.

Erm...am I dating myself there? Oh well.
I like Ed Mcmahon for the job, but I have to admit that Joe Isuzu works great as a nostalgia act.

It's a shame Ron Ziegler's passed on - he would work great too.
Windspike, I can't go with you on the Jolie thing. Don't like tattoos. I find them unappealing. Just my taste, not a put-down. But glad Heather gets more than one vote. I mean, you could replace McLellan with a chubby latex phallus, because he does seem to be a dick, but I would rather, if I happen to be home during the day and get the chance to turn on C-Span, look at Heather Locklear. That way, I could be home some day, turn on C-Span, and C-Span could turn me on in turn. One good turn deserves another.
James Earl Jones. He sounds authoritative. "This is Washington, D.C."
OH please bring back my sexy Ari Fleischer!!! Ari and David Gregory, almost too much to contemplate...
Such great suggestions. You all put Josh Bolten to shame. Though I have to say that Teller would be my #1. That look, day after day...priceless!
Hi Elizabeth,

You mean you would take Ari and David at the same time?

Who gets the front and who gets the back?
how about Chris Burke of Life goes on fame?
I'd pay money to see Zell Miller as press secretary.... I can see the popping veins and flyin' spit now!
Epm...Zell Miller, that's pretty good. I've got another "uncorked" one for you. How about the departed comic Sam Kineson?

You want to know that the President think?! What about what I think...you f*ck?! I've been doing this lousy job for 2 f*cking years. Owwwwwwwww! Aaaaooooooooowwww!
Hi Frog,

that sounded a little more like Al Pacino...
Unfortunately, as you noted, Kineson is dead. Miller is merely insane. And he's not doing an act... he really is that unhinged.

It would be fun to poke him with a journalistic stick and watch him explode. Hee, hee, hee.
How about James Lipton from Inside the Actors Studio. Then the spin would take on an overly dramatic tone.
"James Lipton" LOL...I can just imagine him sucking up to the toadies in the WH press corps, "And now I want to talk about one of your favorite topics...Weapons of Mass Destruction [applause]."

EPM...if not Kineson or Miller, then how about George Carlin?
I wouldn't be the least bit shocked if they bring in the current CEO of Exxon-Mobil.

Either that or Dick Cheney will take over and be the VP, President AND Press Sec.

Total domination is what he's after anyway.
Anne Coulter. I'll settle for nothing less. Oh wait, there IS nothing less...
Bill Clinton should get the job he is after all America's best spin doctor 8 years of lying,cheating and stealing.He would make a great ASSet to the administration.
Bill Clinton should get the job he is after all America's best spin doctor

Hellpig...Yowza! What an idea!

Clinton becomes the Press Secretary, and Bush's standings jump 20 points overnight. (Let's see 53% approval...yup that would be the average between where Bush is now and where Clinton was just as he was being impeached.)

Cool!
Bill Clinton is a good idea. Cedric the Entertainer is another, and not only because the administration is such a joke. He's been a guest at White House gatherings before... no joke... and everyone loved him, but Rove would be better (because then the press could badger him with questions about the Fitzgerald investigation and ask him how he earned the nickname "Turd Blossom").
Just read the comments and changed my mind. Bagdad Bob would be the best suited for the job.
I think Rush Limbaugh,,,It would be fun to watch that big asshole fielding questions.

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