2006/04/01

Patriots To Crush Gators

Though he rarely speaks to the media, acknowledged college hoops expert, Kvatch Kopf, agreed to be interviewed by CBS's Greg Gumbel prior to tonight's Final Four game.

GUMBEL: So...Kvatch. What do you think about tonight's matchup between George Mason and Florida?

KVATCH: Well Greg, as you know the Patriots are not only the greatest Cinderella story in NCAA history, but they're obviously a team to be reckoned with.

GUMBEL: That may be true, but a lot of people are saying that Mason is a fluke.

KVATCH: They couldn't be more wrong. Look at everything GMU has going for them. A patriotic name; A mascot that, let's face it, created the Bill of Rights; Fans from the reddest of red states. In fact, one might say that George Mason is favored by the Almighty himself.

GUMBEL: "Favored by God"? That's a pretty strong statement. Sure you're not going just a little bit overboard? Florida is pretty tough. Look at what they did to Villanova.

KVATCH: Florida!? Bah! What have they got? A state that can't even make up it's mind who to vote for. Bunch of hippies, gays, and AARP members! Look at those school colors. Orange and blue don't even go together. And don't get me started on their mascot. A gator? Yuch. Stinky, nasty-tempered creatures that nobody likes.

GUMBEL: Then I assume you're going with Mason...despite the odds?

KVATCH: Of course.

GUMBEL: Care to predict the score?

KVATCH: Well Greg...I personally think that GMU will so outclass Florida, that the Gators will be forced to concede at the half.

GUMBEL: Hmmm... I see you're wearing green today. Is that in honor of your alma mater?

KVATCH: Indeed it is, Greg. Indeed it is.

12 Comments:

I'll bet you two june bugs and a gnat topped off by a martini, that you might just be crying on your lily pad tomorrow. :)
I'll bet you two june bugs and a gnat topped off by a martini...

Mmmm, Kvatch likes june bugs...and martinis. Tell you what, if I can get GMU to throw the game, can I just have 'em?
Mission from God, huh? Ooops, that's going to doom them, I'm afraid. Best of luck to them, though.
Tip-off is a mere 10 minutes away, Frog...still time to switch your prediction to a more conservative (and thus superior) one.

As you know, I am a UF alum (class of, well, a long time ago for you young hippes.) Back when I was an undergrad, if one wanted to attend a basketball game, one needed to...go to the game (back then, they BEGGED anyone to attend.) This year I looked into season tickets and learned that to secure them I needed to pony up an amount in the mid 5-figures to the school...just to get on the list.

Of course, this would be mere chump-change to a corporate-sponsored conservative such as myself, but I decided to be (like the President) fiscally conservative, and watch the games on TV.

On that note, it's time to tune in, and watch GM drop out.
hmmm...Martinis and bugs -yum....GM will WIN....
and poor POP wil be wallowing in that martini tomorrow....
hehe.....
( LSU too)
Wow, it looks like we share talent in not correctlly picking sports!
Hey since I'm not crazy about june bugs or gnats, you can have them even if you didn't win the bet. Sorry, I'm keeping the martini. :)

I'll also toss in some tissues if need be to dry those little frog tears.
Wow, it looks like we share talent in not correctlly picking sports!

Well it does look that way doesn't it CP.

But I think something much more sinister is going on. Think about it. Virginia is a reliable GOP state, but Florida...flip-floppin around like that...

I think a deal was made. The fix was in. In short it was, ...A VAST RIGHT WING CONSPIRACY! :-)
I'll also toss in some tissues if need be to dry those little frog tears.

Thanks PoP, but I'm comforting myself that it was all a plot. (See the above comment.) :-)
My sister heidi is a GMU alum...she was also the starting pitcher for the sortball team and believe it or not a total glamourpuss.
Kvatch,

Even though I love UCOON, George Mason did you and George Mason (was reading about how awesome he was yesterday)proud.
Kathleen, many thanks for the kind words. Though nothing will dull the ache of not seeing my alma mater in the championship game, I am comforted by what an outstanding patriot George Mason actually was. No gator signed worked on the Bill of Rights, I can tell you that! :-)

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