2006/03/06

The Secret Life of George Clooney

From the f-A-ke. P. -

Actor George Clooney was denied a Best Director Oscar at last night's Academy Awards when it was discovered that he is, in fact, Kahled Meshaal the leader of Hamas.

Government sources, speaking on the condition of anonymity admitted to putting pressure on the Academy, "Uhh...yeah. We told 'em we'd break der fingahs if they gave du Oscar to Clooney."

When reminded at this morning's White House press briefing that Clooney did receive an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor, spokesperson Stephen McClellan replied, "Well, you know we won't comment on the ongoing investigation of those lefty kooks in Hollywood, but just let me say that this was part of a coordinated plan to ensure that American values are upheld by the entertainment industry. Just look at how successful we were with Brokeback Mountain. I saw Crash, and let me tell you, it sucked."

(Thanks to The Register for the inspiration.)

6 Comments:

Aha! Just as I suspected!
But did you end up in bed with Clooney Like Stewart? With a libido like they suggest, he can be whomever he wants to be.
I wonder if the leader of hamas uses the line "People say I look like george clooney" to get laid. of course he would have to clarify it is fat clooney in Syriana
hmm, and does he too sleep with a giant pig....

( okay that sounded rude but George really does have a Pig...that did used to sleep in his room)
I wonder if the leader of hamas uses the line "People say I look like george clooney"

Yup, and it's a great chick magnet line--right up there with, "Want to come and see some propaganda."

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