2006/03/09

The Department of Homeland Faith

f-A-ke. P. -

Responding to congressional and media criticism that the administration, and specifically the Department of Homeland Security, have been ineffective in responding to disasters, President Bush today announced the creation of the Department of Homeland Faith. A melding of the Department of Homeland Security with numerous faith-based initiatives, the new organization will be tasked with praying that everything will turn out all right.

Department of Homeland FaithHomeland Faith Department With Its New Emblem (under construction)

"This new department will assure the American people that my administration is lookin' out for them. In fact, whenever danger threatens, whether it's an evil terrorist like Bin Laden or a hurricane like Katrina, our citizens can be sure that someone inside DHF will be praying," the President said.

Though it isn't yet clear who will lead this new department, Press Secretary Scott McClellan remarked that Pat Robertson was, "...pretty high up on the A-list".

13 Comments:

If this doesn't scare the shit out of people and wake them the **** up. Pat's a good choice, but I think Santorum will need a job come next November.
I feel much safer just knowing this.

:-)
i think it was jon stewart who said it best... with all the prayin bush has been doing, he must not be very good at it!
Maybe the problem isn't that we're not praying enough. Maybe it's that we're praying /too much/ and annoying the shit out of God. Hmm? I bet that old Pat Robertson didn't think of /that/.
i think it was jon stewart who said it best... with all the prayin bush has been doing, he must not be very good at it!

LOL...the man should never have lowered himself to do the Oscars.

Welcome...stranger (?)
Well if I were a praying person, I'm afraid what I would be praying for wouldn't be good for bush.

WTF is our country coming to? The fu*king National Dept of Prayer?

Does anyone really believe this guy takes national security seriously? If you do, I believe you are dead wrong.

This bs is a bj for his base, cause those asswipes are all he has left.
"This bs is a bj for his base, cause those asswipes are all he has left."

Patricia, I'd be careful. This man speaks directly to God. He might have you smited.
This man speaks directly to God. He might have you smited.

Or, at the very least, he'll have the DHF pray for your smitting for the good of the country.
A few days ago, I imagined that Bush created the Department of Homeland Morality to, you know, help us out with our sinfulness. Now he has done it! I swear, I was just going to write a tongue in cheek post.
Funny how I've taken to praying since the Shrub was elected. I don't know if it's helping; it's more like a last resort.

As for Jon Stewart, I agree: he IS too good for the Oscars. Such a waste of such tremendous intellect and talent. I love that man.
he may SPEAK directly to god, but my guess is when god's done listening, he goes back to his throne in the sky and proceeds to point down at the white house and laugh his ass off...
I forget, are the republicans for bigger or smaller government? Help! I'm confused.
"All Prayer All The Time". Hey! The solution to every problem!

Add a comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link