2006/03/07

Cheney Is All A Matter of Perspective

A new CBS poll reported in the Washington Post reveals that Vice President Buckshot has an 18% approval rating. That means that Cheney is less popular than Michael Jackson--who may soon have his very own fatwa for putting on makeup in women's restrooms in Dubai. He's less popular than another shimmering example of his office, Spiro Agnew, who had to leave office in disgrace for bribery and tax evasion. Cheney's even less popular than Joseph Stalin, a man who murdered 20 million of his own citizens.

But the Veep should take heart. He's more popular than Paris Hilton, a woman who by all accounts, is a waste of genetic material.

10 Comments:

If Dick cheney shot Paris Hilton, would his approval rating go up or down?
Well she did wear that silly peacock dress to the Oscar after parties...really she's just asking for it. His ratings would go up!
You have to work pretty hard to be less popular than jackson
just a shame that such a talentless idiot should have such a high profile. but enough of the president. i don't like paris hilton either
If we could only prove that Paris and Cheney had a Bill and Monica, we could get rid of the dastardly bastard.
The only reason he is so unpopular is because he looks just like Mr. Burns from The Simpsons.

Smithers... bring me that Simpson fellow.
If Dick Cheney impregnated Paris Hilton in South Dakota, what would we do?
OK, here's the distallation of all of your comments...

Paris Hilton wears a "silly peacock dress" to a South Dakotan party. Dick Cheney, on his way back to DC from a standing ovation in Wyoming, drops in on the party and is smitten with PH. They have a "Monica and Bill"-style tryst. PH's ratings go up because Cheney is better than most of her other boyfriends, and Cheney's go down because of the unlattering comparison to Bill.

Soon thereafter, PH announces that she's pregnant with Cheney's child and because she's in South Dakota, she can't abort the kid. PH's ratings go down because everyone is expecting a FOX reality show based on her pregnancy, and Cheney's go up because coservatives expect the devil-spawn to be the neo-con messiah.

Cheney, however shoots PH thinking the peacock dress is really a quail and is drumed out of office. His ratings go down because now everybody perceives that he is actually more stupid than Spiro Agnew. Paris Hilton's ratings on the other hand go up, because...well...she's dead, and we won't have to put up with another stupid reality show based on anything having to do with her.

Does that sum it up?
The only possible use I could think of for Paris is to shoot in the face with a friendly weapon. And I have even less use for Cheney.
I think Tricky Dick is always snarling cuz his pacemaker shorts out on occasion and zaps his dumb ass like a stun gun..

just my thoughts..on a friday afternoon..

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