2006/03/21

Banned For Your Own Good

Everybody wants to ban something. Anti-choice forces want to ban abortion, and some zealots want to take it one step further and ban contraceptives. Legislators and religious leaders want to ban pornography. Concerned parents want to ban books, movies, music. Recently arrived Americans want to shut the door and ban new immigration. Tea-totalers want to ban drinking. City dwellers want to ban cars in densely populated urban cores. Manufacturing workers and techies want to ban outsourcing. We're unified by our desire to stop somebody from doing something and in our belief that it's for the best.

Personally, I want to ban smoking--Not confine it to the spaces in front of buildings; Not sequester it in the home or the restaurant or the bar; But ban it outright! Breathing is enough of a challenge without having to inhale the toxic second-hand smoke of some burning-f*cking-weed. Pipes? Cigars? Get rid of 'em as well. Don't like it? Tough! I'm not taking a poll here. This is the power of the benevolent dictator. So deal with it. You'll live longer.

So now...all you do-gooders...what would you ban?

25 Comments:

I would love to see American Idol banned.
I would ban the entire Bush Administration and make them go live in exile
One thing, seriously? That's tough.

Either Religion or Money.

Sigh...

Money.

Let's go back to barter.
Hey Troll Watcher, how about reality shows in general? IMHO they're sucking the life out of TV.

The frogette told me just the other day that the soul suckers at FOX are going to do a second "Brittney and Kevin, Moronic". We must act now!
The life of tv began- Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha -to be sucked out at the advent- Ha ha ha ha ha -of the laugh track!- Ha ha ha ha ha -we do not know what is funny so Sarnof- Ha ha ha ha ha -decided to tell us what was funny. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... We've ben laughing under our breath ever since. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
We could ban the banners.
Oh, you just KNOW I have a whole list of things I'd ban...for America's benefit, of course. Still, if I had to go with just one, I'd have to say the Constitution. That damn piece of paper has been nothing but an obstacle (albeit a minor one) in the road of conservative progress!
Hey Rex, why ban the Constitution when you could just ban the Judiciary? Think it would be easier, don't you?
I'd have to go with kvatch on this one... ban the judiciary and you speed the process up...:>/
Sorry for stating the obvious, but I would ban people who want to ban things...
Ban it all. Everything. Money, Republicans, abortion, recreational drugs, contraceptives, books, gay marriage, divorce, the Bible, atheism, religion, Ann Coulter, ties (they're just stupid), cloning. The list can go on and on. Just for fun - ban everything. Just to see what would happen.
Sorry for stating the obvious, but I would ban people who want to ban things...

Damn! I just disappeared. Hate it when that happens.
Was this post tongue in cheek?

If not..banning something that can be produced and distributed legally is kinda hard..

I do not think you can legislate common sense..

I would like to ban the Shrub from speaking publicly..the man is a complete idiot and I find his pathetic attempts at public speaking without a speech to be a disaster beyond compare. I know 10 year olds that make more sense AND complete sentences better than he does.
Cell phones and SUVs. And talking on a cell phone while driving a SUV would be extra-super-double-banned.
Was this post tongue in cheek?

If not..banning something that can be produced and distributed legally is kinda hard..

I do not think you can legislate common sense...


Hmmm...the post? Yes, but my desire to ban smoking...no.

Not being able to legislate common sense is an interesting point, but "common sense" only applies to one's choice to smoke or not. It really has nothing to do with the non-smokers desire not to have to inhale a toxic carcinogen, which is more along the lines of what I was getting at.
Cell phones and SUVs. And talking on a cell phone while driving a SUV would be extra-super-double-banned.

Tom, that is so right it doesn't even bear further scrutiny, but I'll chime in anyway. Anybody who talks on a cell phone while driving an SUV should be forced to give up their vehicle to the first person who notices. On the second violation, summary execution!
I would ban religion for sure. Next I'd ban non-smokers ;-)

Fumo ergo sum.
I am a very aware smoker Kvatch. I do not smoke around anyone that it bothers. I do my best to keep my carcinogens to myself..If your going to force me to quit smoking who is going to pry me off the ceiling and pay for the xanax I will need for god knows how long??

I don't toss my butts on the ground either..I actually carry a little metal ashtry with me that is enclosed and I can empty it later.

i WOULD LOVE NOTHING BETTER THAN TO QUIT KVATCH..i have tried a dozen times..each time family members begged me to start again so that they wouldn't have to kill me or move out.
If your going to force me to quit smoking who is going to pry me off the ceiling and pay for the xanax I will need for god knows how long??

Hey...hey, Dusty. It's a thought exercise.

I'm not really a benevolent dictator. I just play one on my blog. I mean seriously, all you have to do is ban asthma, and we're all in the clear...so to speak. :-)
Heh... I like Poetryman's idea. I would like to see laugh tracks banned.

However, I have to go along with Marybishop and go for a ban on all religion, retroactively, to the dawn of time.

Religious television programming with a laugh track would be the ultimate thing to ban, for my tastes. I find nothing remotely funny about religion, especially when it is used in ludicrous attempts to legislate morality. Such attempts should also be banned. And if religion was banned, retroactively, the previous two sentences would have been unnecessary.

Dusty, I like your cat. All it needs to be perfect is a "mad tail" or swiveling ears. We have three cats at our house, and they get mad tails from time to time and swivel their ears when I get their fur out of place and when I call them funny names!
Religious television programming with a laugh track would be the ultimate thing to ban, for my tastes.

OK, I'm game to ban religious programming. I'm like a deer in the headlights with that stuff anyway. Can't stop watching (usually in horror) once I hit one of those shows. Think it's the hair.
You forgot banning evolution and/or science!
You forgot banning evolution and/or science!

Not if I'm the dictator! :-)
You're quoting Bush. Are you feeling alright? :)
I was going to comment, but I banned my comment before I could enter it into this box.

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