2006/02/01

State of the Union - Redux With Translation

Blognonymous was shocked, shocked to learn that the source for our original SotU post proved not to be accurate. We've since turned him in to the Feds for rendition to Rumy's Home for Wayward Journalists.

Here is the actual SotU delivered by President Bush this evening:
 



Mr. Speaker, Vice President Cheney, members of Congress, members of the Supreme Court and diplomatic corps, distinguished guests and fellow citizens:

Blah blah, blah blah blah-blah blah blah blah. Blah? Blah blah blah blah blah blah-blah. Blah blah blah-blah, blah-blah-blah! Blah blah-blah blah blah blah.


...terrorists hope these horrors will break our will, allowing the violent to inherit the Earth. But they have miscalculated: We love our freedom, and we will fight to keep it. ("Course that doesn't include fighting my administration. Any freedoms we take are for your own good.")

Blah-blah blah, blah-blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah-blah. Blah blah blah-blah, blah-blah-blah! Blah blah blah blah.
...
So the United States of America supports democratic reform across the broader Middle East. Blah blah Egypt blah-blah...blah Hamas ("Man that really sucked! And all that USAID money down the tubes too.") blah bhah bhah. Saudi Arabia blah blah-blah blah blah.
...
Blah blah-blah-blah, blah blah. America has created 4.6 million new jobs ("Just 400,000 more and we'll have created as many as we lost in my first 3 years. Whoopee!")
...
Congress did not act last year on my proposal to save Social Security... [You actually need a plan that saves the system before anyone acts on it.]
...
Blah blah blah. We will strengthen health savings accounts by making sure individuals and small business employees can buy insurance with the same advantages that people working for big businesses now get. [Translation: Get ready for a huge shift of responsibility...right onto your back.]
...
Keeping America competitive requires affordable energy. Here we have a serious problem: America is addicted to oil blah blah, blah ("I say this every year and nobody ever holds me to it. Is that cool, or what?")
...
Since 2001, we have spent nearly $10 billion [Translation: Practically nothing] to develop cleaner, cheaper, more reliable alternative energy sources ... blah blah blah. So tonight, I announce the Advanced Energy Initiative, a 22 percent increase [22 percent of practically nothing is...hmmm...still practically nothing] in clean-energy research at the Department of Energy.

Blah-blah blah, blah-blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah-blah. Blah blah blah-blah, blah-blah-blah! Blah blah blah blah.

...and the number of children born to teenage mothers has been falling for a dozen years in a row. ("Heck. I really wish that this was happening in the Red States rather than in Massachusetts.")
...
("OK, big finish!") And so we move forward optimistic about our country, faithful to its cause, and confident of victories to come.

Thank you, God bless you, and may God bless America.


[Applause]

("You love me. You really love me.")

18 Comments:

Yup, that was the SOTU in a nutshell. Bla Bla Bla tur Bla Bla Bla tax relief Bla Bla Bla...anyway...
I'm happy to hear that he finally recognizes that he has a dependency problem. I think it's time for an intervention...
I had a dream last night that I just decided to give up the fight. That I became a conservative just so that I wouldn't have to think critically anymore and I was told what I should believe. Life became so much easier for me since I know longer had lead my own path. Then I woke up. Damn, what a nightmare.
Life became so much easier for me since I know longer had lead my own path.

Bush wants you to lead your own path on healthcare, in a big way, and that is a real nightmare. Maybe he's trying to figure out for you what you should be doing with all of those extra years you'll live.
Great summary, kvatch! Sums it up nicely!
I knew I should hit up kvatch first thing in the morning...

What did you think of Kaine though? He exceeded my expectations. He sounded specific and direct, clear and even threw in a bonus topic or two... succinct but good writing. Now I'm not saying I buy the muffins from either bakery, BUT... it was actually an organized response! Is there hope for a dem??? :)
Great summary, kvatch! Sums it up nicely!
I knew I should hit up kvatch first thing in the morning...

What did you think of Kaine though?


Thanks Lily. I'm embarrassed to say that it took me so long to do that this miserable post, I haven't seen more than a snippet from Kaine's rebuttal. Need to go and seek that out...
That's about the way it sounded to me. Of course every time he spoke I had to earmuff myself.
I reject your characterization. Hah! So there! Neener Neener Neener.

No really, there is cause to disagree with just about everything the shubster said as it pales in comparison to the lies he told to get us where we are today, no?
"dependency problem"

I new that was vodka in those rocker glasses.
Good summary.

I can't listen to him speak for more than a couple of minutes at a time at the most. I hear the lies and get angry and have to leave the room.
Jon Stewart and the Daily Show could use your talent!
Thank you Kvatch, you noble scribe, I knew that you would give us a Reasonable summary and with flwoing commentary...thank heavens...some sanity....I will go back to scarping the sticky stuff off the TV...but you have done us proud and sane- merci little frog....( and since when did you get froglet editors....if they get bored send them to the Enigma Cafe...)

( Bush is now down at th Grand Ol Opry singing his own praises as he drives the podium drunk Again....)
If we have an oil addiction...

May I ask who our Pusher is?

I believe his pager number is in the 202 area code.

Also on Brit Hume last night, they raised the point that we actually fund the enemy...

Can't believe theylet that slip out.
Kathy...if only [sigh].

E4E...you're too kind. I couldn't even listen to the address. Maybe it would have sounded better to hear it. As it was, it was like reading and commenting on the lyrics of an insipid song.

Crackpot: Exxon/Mobil, Chevron/Texaco, BP, etc...
I could not watch it nor listen to it either. Thanks for summing it up for me, I know now I missed nothing.
"we actually fund the enemy..."
Haven't we been funding them for years?

Froglet editors?? What's Enigma getting at there kvatch?
I need froglet editors. I would just like a froglet. The froglet can loaf around and eat flies for all I care.
Are there more of this ilk about???
Froglet editors?? What's Enigma getting at there kvatch?

I think that E4E is referring to how I summarized the post at Big Brass Alliance, where made mention of the Blognonymous "editors" who added the commentary. She rightly assumed that these were my froggy bretheren. :-)
Aha... I understand- Alpha Frog.

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