2006/02/03

I Love My President Because... - A Patriotic Contest

Remember when you were in elementary school, and you had to write an essay entitled, "I love my country because..."? Well, since Lily asked and I don't want Rex Kramer questioning this frog's patriotism, I think we should have a little contest. I want each of you to answer the question:

I love my President because...

Let's let this one go all weekend, and I'll announce the winner on Monday morning. And I love my President because...

He combines the refined instincts of Herbert Hoover with the grace and subtlety William Tecumsah Sherman.

[Addendum 2006/02/06]

We have a winner! Check it out here.

40 Comments:

I love my President because he combines all the 14 elements that describe Fascism to a tee. If you don't believe me, go check out Dr. Lawrence Britt's study on the subject...or better yet, my most recent post.
We can enter more than once right??? (many will enter, few will win, see dealers for details)
What do we win? Froglets?
I love my President because he wears body armor like nobody's business.
Si and si senorita (senora)! You can be a Blognonymous guest poster, or if you prefer, Kvatch himself will become your posting froglet.

One entry per comment, please (that's for E4E).
Because he goes above and beyond the call of duty in his fight to eliminate hybrid man-beast cloning from becoming a reality.

Wolverine unavailable for comment.
I love my president because eventually he has to leave. I hope.

Damn I'm scared.
I love my president because I'm sick of fair elections where I actually have to get off my ass and vote. I like things simple, with the outcome predetermined and set up all nice-like without any help from the voters!
I love my president because even the retarded need love.
I love my president because if I didn't, the NSA would find out and I would be dragged from my home in the middle of the night and sent to Gitmo without a peep to be heard from again.
How can one compete with such obvious talent?
I'm intimidated...

Besides, Helen & Mike's took the words right out of my mouth.

Is Rex a shoe-in?
I love my president because he has made me realize what is truly important in life and his example has galvanizrd me to fight the good fight and join others in this fight.
I love my President because...

...he knows all of the great party towns.
I love my president because he says what he says and means what he means. He talks the walk and walks the talk. He's all hat and plenty of bull. His truth is unsullied by opinions or facts.
I love my president because he's the kind of guy you'd like to sit down and have a beer with. The kind of guy you'd like to sit down and have a beer and a couple shots of tequila with. The kind of guy you'd like to sit down and have a beer, a couple shots of tequila and a few big lines of cocaine with. The kind of guy you'd like to sit down and have a beer, a couple shots of tequila, a few big lines of cocaine and a whole box of rat poison under the table ot replace his coke with.

Uh... that's a joke, Ann Coulter.
I love my president because he inspires our nation to excellence in the manner of Wile E. Coyote.
I love my President because he wears penny loavers with no socks, and he actually puts pennies in the little space for them.
I love my President because his fuckups are exponential, meaning he can't last much past October ...
I love my President because...

...every year in the SOTU he promises to clear the brush behind our house.
He can stand up and declare victory in the face of abject failure. That takes guts.
So this is where the party is tonight..

Is this going to be a vote K, or do you get all the fun? That's ok, it's your house, but my vote goes to Generik! Pass me a Heiniken G, will ya? They'll be gone when Lily gets here..
AJ, nope...last time I had judges (Me, Helen, E4E) and think I'll do it again. Want to volunteer?
Sure K,
... as long as the contestants have my paypal donations address.
you know, just in case they feel like contributing...
I love my president strapped inside an f-16 at mach III careaning into...no wait, landing on an aircraft carrier just a few short meters from San Diego hopping out in his best Tom Cruise Top Gun Swagger declairing that more people should die to prove that those that already have died should not have died in vain - on and that he decared Victory....how long ago was that?
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
Heineken? While acceptable, I'm a Guiness girl.

I love my President because he's a fuckwad.
I love my President because I'm having his baby.
I love my President because Rex is unavailable.
I love my President because I'm chronically intoxicated...
I love My President because I'm a fuckophile.
I love my President because... two words: wood chips.

Do I at least get points for excessive entries?????
Come on gang-it's Friday night Live! @ Blognonymous!
You can do better than that!.Put down those beers, stop doing those things to that spilt sugar, btw, whatever are you smoking?....ah, ..
"There is a better way!"*
Make REX proud of us!




* Ref & Coaching Volunteer (if approved)
I love my President because I practice topical corruptiphilia...

AJ, hook me up or you'll get another thud
I love my president because (ouch that hurt to type) banging my head against the wall has become my favorite past time.
OK AJ, you're in, but I need an email so we can send votes back and forth. Send it to:

kvkopf AT GEEmail.com
I love my president because ... ... **sweat beads form on friks forehead** ... uhhhh.... .... thank god this goes all weekend. ... hmmmm..... I'll have to get back to you on this one. ....
I've got one! I love my president because I live 60 miles inland, but I really would love to live on the coast... His policies on greenhouse gasses are sure to make my dream come true!
I love my President because no one can trash the english language like he does. I love my President because his lack of intelligence is closely rivaled by his lack of ethics.

Wait..I already put up something..sorry I couldnt help myself..this is so fun!
I love my president because: No matter what kind of mean, ugly, or shrill statement a person tries to say about him, he is always willing to listen. And his friends are so open minded as well. Always so willing to hear the opposing side as we prattle on and on with our little ravings... just the thought of silencing us is the furthest thing from their minds. I love my president for protecting the constitution (especially the 1st and 4th amendments) and because he is so open minded.
I love my president because I'll get sent to Gitmo if I don't.

I love my president because he's not my presi-dent, he's my presi-PAL!

I love my president because he visited my home state once! (and promptly hid away in an exclusive mountain resort with the governor)

I love my president because he got rid of those human rights that I wasn't really using anyway.

I love my president because he ain't got time for all those smart folks with them fancy-pants degrees who ain't better than me!

I love my president because he's not afraid to tackle the really important issues - namely steroids and monkey-men.

Should I stop?
I love my President because I own stock in Halliburton
I love my President for his "nucular strategery."

Add a comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link