2006/02/19

Dept. of Homeland Security, Porn Enforcement Division

Did you know that preventing people from viewing porn is part of the Department of Homeland Security's job? Neither did I, and neither did the librarians at the Little Falls public library in Bethesda, Maryland, but apparently 2 officers from the Montgomery County Homeland Security Department do.

On February 9th they walked into the library and announced that viewing porn is "forbidden" and then tried to escort one of the library's patrons outside because they didn't like his choice of reading material.

Don't you feel safer knowing that you're being protected from terrorists in our midst, especially dirty-minded terrorists?

13 Comments:

In view of the Jeff Gannon incident, his close ties with Bush and his creative website, I think this is highly ironic.

Who needs to read Stephen King anymore?
Once more the thought police strike again!
A more important question is:why would you want to read (read?) porn in the library?
You keep finding good stuff, Kvatch - thanks.

We shoudn't take this lightly because it involves porn. This is the slippery slope, nudging the envelope ever to the right. Congrats to the people in Maryland who put a stop to it. This time.
Lew, you're right, but thought police from Homeland Security that's a little bizarre. Guess we better hope they don't get their own police force.

Abi, thanks, but some days you just get lucky. The last three posts were all found in my first 30 minutes of news surfing on Saturday morning. Hey... can you send me an email (to kvkopf at gEEmail.com)? I've got something I need to ask you.
Disjointed Notes: Saddam/Sodomy: A man so vile, they even named a method of fornication after him. That would be un-American terrorist-loving fornication, not at all like the man-loves-goat type of fornication that is the staple of the Red State heartlands. Good ol' business-friendly faith-based fornication -- as American as apple pie.
If this fellow was viewing un-American terrorist-loving sodomy, then of course, Homeland Security would get involved. Keeps America safe, much safer than just wrapping yourself in bubble wrap.
Also explains why the Religious Right wants to keep sex education out of public schools. Children should learn about that sort of thing at home, when their uncles come for a "visit" during the sleep-over.
Must... fight... terrorists...
Look, Scannon: live and let live. Don't ask.
Porn, as everyone knows, is the gateway drug that leads to America-hating. Timothy McVeigh? Big-time porno-watcher!
That Leiberman! He wanted DHS...

I've seen quite a few college republicans mad about this, what's the government doing going after porn so much, and subpeonaing google when no crime was committed, the DHS things is just bizzare...

hmm, cocomment doesn't work with the pop-up comment boxes :(
I had heard about this. It's just another way to sneak into our personal lives. Porn's a big fat naked excuse.

Next, they'll "need" to know what games we play and what we buy on ebay... if they don't already.
Just last week after having watched CSI Miami my wife and I sneacked off a little early to bed. Emily Proctor had shown just a little too much clevage and I could no longer control myself. I was hot and ready to trot.

We climbed into bead and Barney was there. I started a little foreplay and that seemed to pass muster. Things were heating up quite nicely. When I went down to nuzzle my wife's nipple I seemed to sense Barney's presence keeping an eye that we did not stray to far from the straight and narrow. I then advanced further south seeking out various erogenous zones along the way. As soon as, I reached the area immediately below my wife's navel I heard the deafening screech of a whistle in my ear and Barney called me offside and three/fourths yard penalty back to my wifes lips. That kind of put a damper on things but we decided one more time to try and get it on. I positioned my wife on her hands and knees and was getting ready to mount from the rear, and once again I heard Barney's whistle. Sorry folks, missionary position only. Two minute time out to let you cool off. Well as you can imagine, Mr Happy turned shy and that was the end of our session. If only we'd known the rules from the get go.
Next, they'll "need" to know what games we play and what we buy on ebay... if they don't already.

Uh, uh! I don't want anybody knowing about those hula-dancer lamps or that gross of vintage Hooter's Girl t-shirts I bought on EBay last week. I'll be arrested by the DoHS, Bad Taste Enforcement division.

Rich, like the idea of the porn whistle. We could equip little kids with them, and then they could run around the house blowing the bennie out of 'em every time they suspect that their parents are having sex.
It comes back to who decides what is porn and what isn't. I guess, for now, it's the DHS. ??

Also, I suppose libraries will need a back room for the porn viewers now, as well.
The patron who was viewing the porn was defended by the librarians on duty and offered a more private venue from which to view his choosen content.

As the story goes, REAL cops where called to the scene and the only ones scorted out were the Gestapo DHS lackies. They have since been re-assigned to desks until their role in the comunity is fully understood by them.

If you voted for Bush, this is your fault.

And My definition of porn? Well Julia, it's anything that makes my willie stand up, and thats just about every advertisement on TV. Except the ones for Oprah.

Cheers.

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