2006/01/18

Study Finds Exercise Helps DeLay Dementia

From the f-A-ke.P. -

New medical studies have conclusively shown that exercise can prevent the onset of DeLay Dementia, a pernicious new malady currently sweeping the American "red-states". The symptoms of this new form of dementia are paranoia, constant mumbling about "those damned l'bruls", and obsessive attempts to get the charges dismissed--even when one isn't accused of a crime.

Doctors recommend that those afflicted with DD engage in a program of rigorous exercise which can slow or even halt the progress of the disease. Recommended exercises include: 30 minutes of perp-walking every day; 10 to 30 criminal-crunches in sets of five; And up to 50 cell-squats. The authors of the study are careful to note however, that the exercises don't appear to be effective in treating Abramoff's Affliction.

(Apologies to the SF Gate for filching the headline.)

14 Comments:

okay you hooked me...I linked on worried about the red states and dimentia...and there he is the little roach sucker himself on his passport photo for his new life....I have a question - all of these guys are wearing a new little metallic emblem- no more flag - it is the little round thing...what is it ?

and thanks for the laugh...
LMAO..cute..very cute..and I love the last part: not effective in treathing Abramoff's Affliction.

I am getting antsy waiting for de Bugman to get indicted in the Abramoff net of corrruption..hes gotta get caught..he was so far up Jackie A's butt he knew what the guy had for breakfast.
I've heard that experts in the field also recommend tightening one's ass muscles so that they reach of steel vice-like state.
I've heard that experts in the field also recommend tightening one's ass muscles so that they reach of steel vice-like state.

I'd say DeLay is gonna need some vice-like ass muscles for when he's doing cell-squats in Huntsville.
Okay judging by that creepy smile, he's already on something. Xanax, vicodin, something. Ewww, I'm going to have nightmares!
I wonder if Rex is advocating an ounce of prevention....

Funny, kvatch. I do hope you realize that Consider The Boot is my blog about nothing- my political rants are generally limited to Lose The Noose. You might find some of the weirdness at the Boot to be a litle hard to take...:)

I love a good perp walk...there should be a dvd of just PERP WALKS. "When CEO's Go WILD" or something...Do it, kvatch!!! Sell them for the cause!!!!
Oh I like Lilly's idea- I just went and found an extra video I am waiting.....ooops need more popcorn,...wait ..need THEME MUSIC...hmmm....I am torn...
"In the Big House Now "
or the Strutting Music From Saturday Night Fever ....
( you know the part- where John is Strutting down the street...)voucq
hmmm that is a tough one...I bet other people would have better theme music ideas....

Abramoff's Affliction....sounds like a Green Day Song.... : )
sadly there is ONLY one Cure- amputation....
There is another malady closely associated with DD and that is Faux Fox Flatulence. Anyone who succumbs to the vapors of FFF finds it incereasingly difficult to tell fact from fiction. In advnaced cases people not only repeat what they hear from the likes of Bill O'Reilly and Brit Hume but they actively try to supplant these personalities by inventing stories of their own out of whole clothe. Although conclusive tests have not been run scientist are following leads that FFF is a precursor to DD manifested by reverse alphabetization and diminishing aliteration.
Nono. Those cell-squats ARE good for Abramoff's. Those cell-squats are good for anything.
could we atleast Black out a tooth on this damn so friggin happy picture????

new rude post over at watergate..come see my dog..
I agree, enigma4ever. That mug shot is the picture (if you will) of cynicism and spin.
There is another malady closely associated with DD and that is Faux Fox Flatulence.

I knew it! The America destroyers have unleashed their biological menagerie on us. DD and FFF are only the vanguard of an alliterative attack.
I love the new Fox disease- I always suspected....saw you over at the Enigma Cafe- and you too are a Walmart ReArranger...Whoa---- I knew they were out there....I will post more on this- I actually got ( oh I am soooo ashamed) at Walmart doing the Deed about a week ago...it was Very funny....

so come on is there any way we can Black out a Tooth- ask HelenWheels- I bet her creative juices could make him look sooooo hot...( and maybe put Orange Jumpsuit on him?)
Enigma- I'll do it. Send me your email (and requests) and I'll send it to you.
losethenoose@yahoo.com

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