The Retroactive Signing Statement
But at Blognonymous we say, why be limited to just those bills that cross the president's desk? Why not attach the president's interpretation to every law? The President knows what's best for us. Shouldn't he have the power to do what it takes protect America? Of course he should, and that includes reinterpreting those pesky laws from the past.
Imagine if Bush could attach his own signing statement to the original FISA Act of 1978. Voila! All of our problems with the illegality of domestic wiretapping magically go away. Reagan could have avoided the whole Iran-Contra debacle by re-interpreting Congress' prohibition on funding the Contras. No more worrying about what the law means--redefine the meaning! Efficiency embodied!
Imagine the benefit to the economy as armies of aids are employed to canvass our laws and provide the administration's own unique perspective. Imagine how our democracy will be reinvigorated. The Federal Code will become Talmudic as each president reinterprets the law to suit his own administration's goals.
Indeed, the time for the Retroactive Signing Statement is at hand.
Signed - your fearless but fearmongering leader.
Democracy is a "D" word..so is Dictatorship.
Imagine the Democrats interpreting the same law a different way, 8 years later, oh wait... we have King George now don't we.
A "Talmudic" Bible. Now wouldn't that be something. I can just see Pat Robertson bursting a blood vessel over it.
good post as usual- again you gave me something to think about...
( my word verification was uzibag...hmmm, random?)
Many thanks, but I think that you're giving me more credit than I deserve. Though the issue of signing statements is a serious one, and I suppose I wanted to call peoples attention to it, I was really going more the for hyperbole and snarkyness.
It's hard to be too serious on a Friday.
They handled everything very professionally. They did not even bother to ask me the perennial, "Do you have any idea how fast you were going?" They were straight forward saying they clocked me doing 83 in a 55 mph zone. I guess my speedometer is off a few mph. They ran my plates, checked my drives license and insurance. All of that was good. They told me had I been doing just a little faster they would have arrested me and charged me with wreckless endangerment. After a little speech the officer handed me a ticket to sign.
I realized that was my cue to make my signing statement. I wanted to maintain the same professional demeanor displayed by the police at the same time I wanted there to be no mistake I was not the least bit intimidated. I mean Bush is such an inspiration, his swagger, the icy glint in his eye and the fact he would never back down no matter how wrong he is.
I started off, "Gentlemen, I acknowledge receipt of your charge however I deny with every fiber of my being that you have the right to present me with this charge. I have paid my taxes for use of this roadway and as long as my use does not infringe the use of this same roadway by any other taxpayer I am fully within my right to use it in any manner I see fit. Furthermore, Being a taxpayer, I expect you to serve and defend me. I hardly think you can protect me against thieves, robbers and worse elements of our society if you are wasting your time pursuing such frivolous issues like this. Last, It is I how pays you. That being the case it is clearly obvious you have exceeded the scope of your authority.
It was at that point they totally lost their professional demeanor as the slammed me across the hood of my car and placed me in in handcuffs and drove me to the police station. I told them in no uncertain terms exactly how I felt and that I would address the court and explain about my signing statement and how the police totally ignored this fundamental right.
Now I am just looking forward to my day in court. I'm sure the county will look pretty damn stupid not only to lose the case but having to eat the $175.00 towing fee and $50.00 impoundment charge. Just wait. I wonder if I could even get Dubyah to send in a letter or something to tell them of the value of a signing statement?
Pat Robertson bursting a blood vessel... great, inspiring imagery. Possibly something to which he should aspire, although because I'm basically an agnostic, I won't be praying for that to happen. Pat's likely to do it to himself without a lot of praying from the rest of us.