2006/01/11

Enough Social Security Talk - When Ma and Pa Are Dead, I'm Done

Before Bush ramps up his '06 agenda, it's time to preempt one of the more stupid proposals he's sure to make. You listening Mr. President? OK. Here goes...

I don't want to hear another word out of your stinkin' pie-hole about Social Security. You and your advisors couldn't predict what will happen with that program if you had a time-machine and could go and see for yourselves. So I'm here to tell you that I've had enough. I'll do my duty with respect to my parents, but when they're done so am I.

Here's how it's gonna work:
  1. Starting with my next paycheck, I don't pay another dime into Social Security. Moreover, my employer's portion is given to me in the form of salary, and in return I take over my parent's Social Security payments.
  2. Every dollar that I pay to my parents is used to reduce my pre-tax income, 1-for-1.
  3. In addition, over the next 10 years, you arrange to divert what I've already paid into the system into a retirement account that I control (1/10 of that amount each year).
  4. You don't say "boo" about what I do with this money, as long as it's held until retirement. Though in return I'll let you have the employer's portion.
  5. Then, when my parents are dead, you and I don't ever discuss this again!
Will this be a financial loss for me? Maybe, but I doubt it. Either way it'll be worth it not to ever hear another goddamned word about your frickin' Ownership Society.


HT to windspike for his post on the Ownership Society. It reminded me to get this one in the bag.

11 Comments:

I love it. Sounds about as reasonable as letting some "professional" money manager handle your capital and take a cut every time he takes/makes a trade.

Glad to spur you on - Thanks for the hat tip. Blog on.
good plan...more solid than anything this regime is shoving down out throat....and the "ownership" crap , it means you own his blundering debt....
The "Ownership Society" underground since 1865.
C'mon, now. W's on your side! I mean, if he gets his way, once your folks pass on the millions you inheret won't be decimated by the "death tax."

Everyone gets millions when daddy dies, right? Who would be against this?
Everyone gets millions when daddy dies, right? Who would be against this?

Ah Rex, you sly shill of the right... ;-) Can I have your daddy's millions?
Sorry, daddy says half of his millions go to me, the other half to Skull and Bones.
You are too generous. Why give Bush what your employer has paid into the fund all this time?
You are too generous. Why give Bush what your employer has paid into the fund all this time?

Hmmm...not really clear that I'm entitled to that money anyway, if it were to be paid out now.

I'd rather let the government use it to keep the system solvent as it winds down, but I damn well want complete control over my portion in return--not this ridiculous "personal/private retirement account" where the Bushies get to determine the investments and in doing so enrich their friends.
He'll never go for it because it means funding George H.W. and Babs out of his own pocket. Shrubs a taker, not a giver.
Hi frog,

If only government were as rational...

People have this misconception that government tries to do what's best for the country and its citizens.

This is not true. Our government seeks to take our tax dollars and enrich itself and its crony capitalist pig buddies while at the same time telling all of us we should want our own money.

$2.7 Trillion of our tax dollars is unaccounted for at the DoD. Gone. It got spent, but we don't know on what.

$13 billion missing in Iraq. Gone.

These rat bastards steal our tax dollars then wag their fat fingers in our face when we ask for things like healthcare, social security, and investments in developing alternative energies.
PoliS, this little deal was something that's been kicking around in my head for quite a while. I didn't get around to writing it down until Bush started yammering his ownership society thing. At that point I couldn't take it any more and had to get it into print.

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