2006/01/06

"Deport-a-Sourcing" - A Revolution For The Global Skills Marketplace

With the Bush administration pushing for all sorts of new federal crimes related to terrorism, illegal immigration, and the like, Blognonymous recently recommended getting rid of pesky trouble-makers by simply deporting them. Criticize the administration? Bang! Off to Egypt with you. Fail to report an illegal immigrant at your work place? Hope you like Mumbai. And in this new legal climate, we would like to propose the next truly breathtaking advance for the global workforce, Deport-a-Sourcing.

Consider: Traditional out-sourcing has limits and global skill markets are stabilizing. So what's a modern, forward-thinking corporation to do but to maximize the value of their existing workforce, and how does that happen? By deporting high-skill workers to countries with lower wage structures and truly shocking cultural differences.

Imagine Joe software engineer, an American citizen who makes a comfortable upper middle-class wage. If you could only force him out of the US, preferably to a country where his salary could be cut in half. Think of the tremendous savings, and that's where Deport-a-Sourcing comes in. Does this schmuck have a blog? Well check it out, and see if you can nail him for sedition. Once he's been stripped of his citizenship and packed off to Turkey offer him his job back at half his original wage--less if you can get away with it. Studies indicate that the shock of this transition will force him to accept any job he can get just to remain employed. Indeed whole departments can be "Deport-a-Sourced", resulting in stunning improvements to your company's bottom line.

Think productivity. Think competitiveness. Think about your shareholders. Contact Blognonymous and learn about Deport-a-Sourcing (TM) today!

4 Comments:

You missed something ... Halliburton's already got the contract.
How bout "Port-a-Sourcies"? You could just keep 'em in Port-a-potties at the docks under something opens up.
And lets award the contract for the transportation to Halliburton too. They can charge the company 8,000 per deportee.
We could also just keep letting people work at home in their pajamas so they can live in the middle of nowhere on the cheap instead of a metro hot spot. Deport them to Montana then run a giant DSL pipeline.
You missed something ... Halliburton's already got the contract.

Damn! I knew it, and just when I was about to start my own strategy consulting firm. OK, maybe I'll just start a think tank.

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