2006/01/28

Biological Warfare

San Francisco, f-A-ke. P. -

Today Homeland Security forces arrested protestors from People for Ethical Eating That Doesn't Include Meat (PEETDIM) as they hurled cucumbers and eggplant at administration officials. The officials, in the City for meetings to determine how San Francisco could become, "...less of a leftist pain in the ass," later described the incident as a new front in the war on terror.

When asked at today's press briefing for his opinion of the events, Scott McClellan said the following:
Mr. McClellan: We fee--you know the administration has made clear it's position on terrorists, and this is clearly a case of radicals trying to...perpetrating a dangerous kind of biological warfare inside the United States.

Q: Will the administration move aggressively to root out these so-called terrorists?

Mr. McCellan: Well we don't..I mean we're not going to discuss ongoing operations, but let me just say that this definitely validates the surveillance that we've been doing of these radical groups.
Later in the day, at the Annual Dinner for Super Rich Republican Doners, President Bush commented, "I don't like eggplant. It hurts my mouth, and I think Congress should move quickly on an up-or-down vote to ban the sale of eggplant in our great nation."


Thanks to AGITPROP for the inspiration.

11 Comments:

I posted on the courageous defense of our freedom to eat honey-baked ham by Homeland Security ... they're spying on vegans. Doubleplus good!
I saw Agitprop's. But I really have no interest in defending hams. I think big mammal eating constitutes a waste of energy, acreage, and plant resources. Not to mention the toxins, steroids, hormones... etc. They can keep the hams but stop calling everyone who disagrees a radical terrorist. Instead of their hatred for liberals why not worry about the sludge selling industries??
posted on the courageous defense of our freedom to eat honey-baked ham by Homeland Security

And is so often the case, your mustachoed-ness, you were my inspiration. :-)
Kvatch,
You are a funny one. Eggplant is really good if prepared in the Japanese way, but shrub is used to stuffing his face with meats of all variety, particularly if sponsored by some lobyist or another.
This will go on your permanent record.
i've been waiting for someone to bring up this eggplant debacle...it's a disgrace to red meating americans everywhere, I think we should make the protesters dress and fur and dance to Hooty and the Blowfis
Does Bush dislike the food eggplant, or the color eggplant? He probably wants to have up-or-down votes on what colors we should be allowed to wear and see, or maybe he will just sidestep Congress and the Senate and unilaterally declare both the vegetable and the color official tools of terrorist sympathizers... heh...
No reason Bush should dislike the color, right? After all, aubergine *IS* the "royal" color and would be so fitting for our Imperious Leader.
How true! Heehee... And we SHOULD bow down to our god-king, after all, and if that IS a royal color, he would probably like to wear it well.

I didn't know how to spell "aubergine", so thanks for that too. I wanted to use the word, but I would have spelled it like "oberjean"!
this eggplant debacle...it's a disgrace to red meating americans everywhere,

Mary...how true. Eggplant is a disgrace.

Windspike: I'm afraid that I'm going to have to agree with our Imperious Leader, "It hurts my widdle mouth. It don't taste good."

And now...Kvatch's head explodes for agreeing with President Neuman.
Bush Sr. said he hates broccoli. Vegetable hating runs in the fake imperial family. W. is a chip off the old vegetable. Brother Jeb better watch it, though, he looks like a big ole baked ham.

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