2005/12/07

The Conservative Blogger's Manifesto

Starting your first conservative blog? Well good for you! We need all the conservatives we can get here in the blogsphere because, let's face it, you can't drown out the liberals unless you make a BIG NOISE! So to help you out, we here at Blognonymous have compiled some helpful hints to make your blogging as pleasant (not to mention useful to the cause) as possible:
  • Never comment on "lefty" blogs - It just legitimizes their sad and useless lives, in addition to driving up their traffic stats.

  • Never praise a Democrat, progressive, or liberal on your blog - Remember that there is only one right way to think in our blogsphere.

  • Always find something nice to say Ann Coulter or Michelle Malkin - And if you're male, try to work in the notion that Ann is your ideal mate.

  • Always remember that liberals are idiots and tell them so every chance you get - Try ending each post with "Oh, and by the way, liberals are idiots."

  • Try to work Bill Clinton to every discussion - Remember that sexual transgressions are way more interesting than WMDs.

  • But, when a liberal brings up Bill Clinton, Ken Starr, etc... - Haughtily inform them that this is ancient history, and if they ever want to be in power again, they better get over it.

  • Liberals can't reason, so don't bother trying - Ad hominem attacks always provide more fireworks and increase your traffic.

  • Always engage conservatives in constructive dialogue. Be polite, and thank them for their comments - They're on our side after all.

  • However, if a liberal somehow manages to make a reasonable, polite comment... change the subject - Nobody wants to hear what liberals think anyway.

  • When liberals argue with facts, counter with morals - After all, morals come straight from God Almighty. So you don't have to defend them. (Thanks to Mike @ Can of Worms)

  • Every week, try to create at least one post on how much better off this country would be if there were no liberals

  • Don't even read lefty blogs - KOS may have beaten us to the top, but it's still our Blogsphere!
Follow these simple rules, and were sure that you'll be on your way to becoming a "Large, taloned, red-blooded, meat-eating predator," in the Truth Laid Bear Ecosystem in no time.

6 Comments:

One note you forgot: When liberals attack you with fact based ideas, counter with moral arguement that does not back up your point but makes them look bad
So true, So funny.
This is priceless! I've actually started a weekly "Right Wing Cheerleader of the Week" award for some of my favorite (and I say that with much sarcasm) GOP bloggers. Come by and check it out if you get a chance...meanwhile... would you mind if I blogwhored this one? Great stuff!
My pleasure, whore away. In fact, I'll return the favor. Give your favorite addition to the list, experiential or otherwise, and I'll add it to the end with a reference.

K.
I reposted it, adding this last little epitath:

When backed into a corner by logic and are unable to argue their lying Liberal points, simply delete their comments. Who wants to read these whiney loser's comments anyway? You certainly don't. You're here to get high fives and golf claps from the two right-wing peers that sometimes read your blog.
entertaining. but also, sadly it is true. thanks for the link drew.

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